Meredith's Anatomy
by Evesyface
Summary: What if Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd met before they were even surgeons? Would they still fall in love and have an epic romance? At 18 years old, Meredith Grey meets the mysterious, blue-eyed Derek Shepherd at a bar. There's an instant connection between them. But will they be able to overcome all the hurdles thrown at them and live happily ever after?
1. Chapter 1: McAwkward

Meredith Grey, an 18 year old female with dusty blonde hair, studied the sheet of paper she held in her hands. It was Monday morning, approximately 7:30a.m and the sun was already shining on her gentle face. Around her, students were making their way around campus, some with coffee in their hands looking calm and relaxed and others – just like Meredith - were staring at a sheet of paper looking lost. The paper that Meredith held told her that at 8:00a.m, she was to report to building number 63 where she would have her first class – a tutorial for ANAT1500: Introductory Anatomy.

"Where the _hell_ is building 63?" She cursed under her breath, scanning the campus. Not too far away, Meredith's eyes fell upon a sign that read: _Building number 2, Janet Shepherd Building._ Standing next to that sign was a tall, unmistakably beautiful girl who looked just as lost as Meredith did. As Meredith stared, the girl looked up and their eyes met. Before Meredith could avert her gaze, the girl flashed a warm smile and began to walk towards her.

"Hey!" The girl said cheerily once she was a bit closer, "First day?"

Meredith nodded and gently shook her paper in response, "Is it that obvious?"

The girl laughed and fiddled around in her pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. As she unfolded it, Meredith noted that ANAT1500 was also her first class.

"I'm Isobel," The girl stuck out her hand and flashed another cheery smile, "It's my first day too."

"I'm Meredith."

The girls stood in silence for a moment once they had finished shaking hands. Meredith wasn't the best at small talk and that never bothered her – it wasn't something she was particularly interested in anyway. Izzie awkwardly shifted her weight from one leg to the other as she scanned her surroundings. Meredith could tell she was searching for her first class too.

"Where's your first class?" Meredith asked, gently folding up her sheet of paper and placing it into her pocket. Staring at the building number wasn't going to magically teleport her there – she had no use for the paper now until her next class.

"Building 63," Izzie responded, not even looking at her paper. She followed Meredith's lead and placed hers back into her pocket, "The Richard Webber building?"

"Yeah, me too," Meredith replied, "I'm in room 231."

Izzie beamed in response and spoke far too eagerly causing Meredith to shudder, " _No way_! Me too!"

"No way…" Meredith breathed in response, not quite as eager.

Without exchanging too many more words or excited exclamations, Izzie pulled out her phone and opened a navigation app. It was one specialised for their campus with directions and maps of all the buildings. Meredith watched on as Izzie scrolled through the app and eventually found building 63. With one click, the screen changed and an arrow pointed in the direction of where they needed to go.

"It's only 100 meters from here!" Izzie exclaimed happily and started to follow the arrow. Meredith followed on soon after, exhaling deeply. Her mother's words rang in her ears:

 _Don't bother making any friends, Meredith. From now on, everyone is your competition and all that matters is your GPA. You don't have time for any kind of relationship._

* * *

It didn't take Meredith and Izzie long to find the building. Once they had walked half the distance and around a corner of buildings, their eyes fell upon a tall building with beautifully historic architecture. Both of their mouths fell open as they continued to follow the arrow, Izzie openly hoping that this building was theirs. As they got closer and closer, the sign next to the building became clearer causing Izzie to squeal.

"Building 63, Richard Webber building!" She beamed, as she started to skip towards the door.

"I _can_ read," Meredith whispered, rolling her eyes. She groaned as Izzie stopped walking and started _skipping_ towards the entrance.

"What was that?" Izzie responded happily, turning quickly to flash Meredith another warm smile.

"Nothing."

As they entered the building, Izzie – much to Meredith's relief – stopped skipping and started to slowly walk as she scanned the rooms around them. Meredith did the same, noting that each room on this floor was in the 100s. It only took her a second to realise that the next level would have the rooms in the 200s, where theirs would be. Without mentioning it to Izzie, Meredith found the staircase and made her way up to level 2. She had to walk around a bit before she found room 231. Once she found the right door, Meredith could hear someone talking loudly. She looked down at her watch. It was 8:05am; the class must have already started.

"Dammit," She mumbled, gently turning the door knob and entering the room. Everyone looked up from their desks as she walked in and whoever was speaking had stopped mid sentence. Meredith hated being the centre of attention and quickly found an empty seat. She sank into the chair and didn't make eye contact with anyone. Her eyes were glued to the ground. To her relief, Izzie entered not long after and soon everyone was looking at her instead. Well, _almost_ everyone.

"Sorry!" Izzie apologised loudly, scanning the room for a seat. She found one next to an attractive boy with short dark hair and a permanent scowl on his face. "It took me _forever_ to find this room."

The boy next to her snickered, but Izzie seemed oblivious. She flashed him a smile and reached out her hand. Hesitantly, he took it and murmured his name. It was too quiet for Meredith to hear, not that she cared.

For a few moments, there was still silence. Whoever was speaking before Meredith and Izzie turned up remained silent. The class broke out into a light whisper in confusion, not knowing why there was still silence. A girl sitting next to Meredith let out a groan and folded her arms across her chest, looking impatient. Meredith, just as confused and impatient, finally looked up from her desk and met the gaze of the man at the front of the room. The man who had been speaking animatedly before she and Izzie had entered. Izzie looked from Meredith to the man and exchanged a confused expression with the boy next to her. Everyone watched on as Meredith and this man continued to stare at each other in silence for what felt like forever to Meredith. She found herself lost in his beautifully subtle blue eyes… the same blue eyes that this morning had started to open just as Meredith was slipping out the door. The same eyes that had managed to seduce her into bed last night.

" _Shit_ ," Meredith said a little too loudly, sinking deeper into her chair. The class turned to look at her momentarily. They soon turned back to the man standing at the front of the room, waiting for his response.

"Shit…" He reciprocated.


	2. Chapter 2: McDreamy

_Earlier that morning._

The sun shone through the gaps in the blinds, light gently caressing Meredith's closed eyes. For a split moment, as she was still waking up, Meredith felt calm. She opened her eyes and tilted her head on its side slightly, staring at the man asleep next to her. A small smile crept across her lips as she admired the gorgeous features of… wait, _what was his name again?_

Suddenly, the night before came rushing back… what she could recall of it, anyway. One moment Meredith was sitting at the bar, admiring the bartender. She remembered thinking he looked like the lovechild of Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake… but it was also possible that she had just had too much to drink. As she admired the bartender, someone took a seat next to her. Meredith ignored whoever it was, continuing to stare at the man pouring her a shot of tequila. She was trying to determine whether or not his nose looked more like Justin Timberlake's nose or Jimmy Fallon's.

"It's definitely Fallon's nose," She muttered out loud, smirking before she took her shot, "Has anyone told you that you have the same nose as Jimmy Fallon?"

The bartender rolled his eyes and moved onto the next customer. Meredith took this as a sign that a number of people had made the same comment, which was definitely not true.

"I can see it." The man next to Meredith commented, causing her to avert her gaze from the bartender. She had already forgotten what she had just said and stared at the man with a puzzled expression. _What was it that he could see?_

"The nose," He said quickly, as if he could read Meredith's mind, "It looks very similar to Jimmy Fallon's."

Meredith let out a giggle and signalled the bartender that she needed another drink. The bartender looked hesitant to give her more alcohol and decided against it when the man next to her shook his head subtly.

"Do you really need another drink?" The man asked, flashing a charming smile that caused Meredith's stomach to do flips... or was that just the tequila?

"W-who aaaaare yoooou?" She responded slowly, her words slurred. "My motheeeeerrrr?"

"I'm Derek," The man chuckled, still smiling. Meredith decided right then that she loved his smile. "And you are?"

"Drunk," She hiccupped, "Veerrryyyy drunk."

Everything around Meredith was blurry. She hadn't planned on getting drunk tonight, but as soon as she got to the bar it was as if all her life's problems came rushing to her head. The last thing she wanted to do was think about her complicated relationship with her mother, or the fact that the father who left her all those years ago had another daughter. That's why when the bartender looked at her expectantly, she found herself ordering a shot of tequila. And one shot turned into two, which turned into three and so on. Before she knew it, her surroundings became blurry and anyone she laid eyes upon was drop dead _gorgeous_. That included Derek, the mysterious blue-eyed man sitting next to her.

"Well, _drunk_ ," Derek teased, lifting his hand slightly to get the attention of the bartender, "I'll pay your tab and then what do you say I take you home and help you sober up?"

"C-can I trust you?" Meredith questioned. Even though she was wasted, her mind was still on red alert at the idea of some stranger taking her home, "You're just a guy in a bar."

"That's right, I'm just a guy in a bar," Derek repeated, flashing his beautiful teeth again causing Meredith's heart to race, "And you're just a girl in a bar."

After that, most of the night was a blur. All Meredith could remember was stumbling around in her kitchen as Derek passed her a glass of water and refilled it whenever it was empty. She also remembered tripping over her own feet and almost face planting – but Derek managed to catch her. They stood together for a moment, still holding each other. Derek held her for a while, his blue eyes glaring into her soul. Meredith felt as if she could stare back into his eyes forever. His eyes were truly beautiful. It was as she admired his eyes that she kissed him. After a few seconds, his lips parted and he kissed her back. It was the most passionate kiss that Meredith had ever experienced – and she had experienced a handful. As their kiss become more and more intense, Meredith pushed him towards her bedroom. Before they entered, Derek pulled away. She looked up at him like a sad, lost puppy.

"What's wrong?" She asked, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"You're still drunk," He whispered, breathing softly against her ear, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Meredith rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand. She squeezed it and shot him a seductive look as she pulled him towards her bed. Once they reached the edge she began to undress, feeling triumphant as she watched Derek's mouth drop open. He watched on, admiring Meredith's petite but toned body. As she danced out of her clothes, Derek began to unbutton his shirt.

And that was as much as Meredith could remember. Now she found herself awake the next morning with the sun on her face, illuminating the room. Her eyes fell upon a clock on the table next to her bed. It was 7:00am and Meredith needed to be at University at 8:00am for her first ever course – introductory anatomy. She lived very close to the campus, but she had no idea where her class was. She would need time to find the building. Without wanting to wake Derek, Meredith crawled out of bed and tiptoed towards the shower. Her head was thumping and her ears were ringing. Why had she thought it would be a good idea to get drunk the night before her first class? The hot water from the shower head fell against Meredith's face, helping her wake up slightly. She only spent a few minutes showering, quickly cleaning her body with her favourite vanilla body wash and washing her face with a gentle facial wash that was kind to her sometimes sensitive skin. Once she had washed the last drop of body wash from her skin, Meredith jumped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body. She opted against drying her hair with the hair dryer as she didn't want Derek to wake up. If he woke up, they might actually have to _talk._ Meredith didn't have time to talk.

When she was finally ready and dressed, Meredith crept out of the bathroom, gently shutting the door behind her. For a few moments, she just stood there watching Derek sleep. His chest moved up and down slowly with every breath. Meredith felt peaceful watching him breathe. A part of her wanted to crawl back into bed with him, but her eyes fell upon the clock again. 7:15a.m. Meredith let out a sigh before she collected a few pens, a notebook and her phone. Before she put them away, she ripped a page from the notebook and left Derek a note:

 _Hey… Derek. Thanks for last night. I'm sorry for leaving like this, but I have somewhere to be. Let yourself out._

 _Meredith._

As she opened the door to leave, Meredith turned to have one more look at Derek. She took in his peaceful face and his messy bed head and smiled. Just before she closed the door, Derek's eyes opened. He called out for Meredith, but it was too late. She was already out the door.

* * *

 _Current time._

"Shit." Derek repeated with his eyes still on Meredith. Her gentle face was flushed with a light pink which made her look even more beautiful. After a few more moments of staring, Meredith finally dropped her gaze and Derek was able to check back into reality. With all eyes on him, Derek cleared his throat and turned to face the white board behind him. Pulling a whiteboard marker from his pocket, he began to write his name on the whiteboard: _Derek Shepherd._

"For those of you that arrived late," Derek began, hesitantly turning back to face the class, "We were just about to start an exercise that I am sure all of your teachers will get you to do this week. A get to know each other exercise."

The girl next to Meredith groaned again, and she wasn't the only one. Almost everyone in the class, there were about twenty of them, all groaned along too. Everyone except Meredith, who was still too embarrassed to make any noise.

"I know, I know," Derek laughed, a sound that was eerily familiar to Meredith, "I hate them too but we have to do it. I want you guys to state your name, what degree you are studying and one of your favourite hobbies. Who wants to go first?"

Izzie raised her hand faster than Meredith had ever seen anyone do so. Derek nodded in approval and sat down against his desk as he waited for Izzie to speak.

"I'm Isobel Stevens," She began, smiling at everyone in the room, "But you can all call me Izzie!"

Meredith saw the boy with the permanent scowl on his face shudder at Izzie's peppy tone. She tried to hide her amusement.

"Nice to meet you, Izzie," Derek said genuinely, flashing his charming smile, "What are you studying? And what is your favourite hobby?"

Izzie pondered on this for a moment, her face lighting up when she decided on her response. "I'm studying a bachelor of health science as my pre-medicine degree before going into a bachelor of medicine, surgery and science. My favourite hobby would have to be… _baking_. I love it. I make a mean red velvet cake."

"Ugh," The girl next to Meredith whispered, leaning in towards her, "Red velvet is the worst."

Meredith tried not to laugh as she felt Derek's eyes on them. Rather than looking back up at him, Meredith avoided his eyes. She half expected him to ask her to go next, but he didn't. Instead, he asked the girl next to her to go.

"I'm Cristina," The girl mumbled, her face serious. "Cristina Yang. I'm studying a bachelor of health science too as my pre-medicine degree. My favourite hobby is… reading, I guess."

Derek continued calling on people to introduce themselves. There were three other people studying a bachelor of health science – Meredith being one of them. The other two were male. One of them was the boy with a permanent scowl who sat next to Izzie. He was asked to introduce himself once Cristina had finished.

"I'm Karev," He said loudly, his voice deep and gruff. He sounded somewhat intimidating. "Alex Karev. I'm studying the same thing as the other girls and one of my favourite hobbies is taking my motorbike out for a spin."

Meredith noticed that Izzie watched on with heart eyes as Alex spoke. She knew the look that was spread across Izzie's face – it was infatuation. Meredith knew that feeling all too well. How had Izzie managed to become infatuated with scowl-face so fast?

"I'm George O'Malley," The next boy whispered awkwardly, following Alex's introduction. "I-I'm also studying a bachelor of health science. One of my favourite hobbies… I guess… is to study. Which is helpful, I guess. Since we will all need to be studying a lot very soon."

"That's right, O'Malley!" Derek exclaimed, "You will all be spending most of your time studying very soon. Maybe not in the first week, but by the second week you will all be up to your knees with work."

The class audibly groaned which caused Derek to laugh whole-heartedly. When the groans died down, Meredith felt Derek's eyes on her. Those beautiful, blue eyes.

"What about you, Mer-?" Derek stopped short of saying her name. He hoped that the class hadn't picked up on his slip up.

"I'm Meredith Grey," She breathed, slowly lifting her gaze to look at Derek. He was still staring directly at her. "I'm studying a bachelor of health science and my favourite hobby is… drinking tequila."

"Amen to that." Cristina laughed, raising her hand in a pretend toast. The rest of the class laughed, some even raised their hands to join in on the "toast". Derek just continued to watch Meredith. It wasn't until someone else started introducing themselves that his gaze shifted. As the entire class went around and introduced themselves, Derek directed everyone to get up and move to sit with those doing the same degree. Meredith, Cristina, Izzie, Alex and George all got up and moved to a table in the corner of the room. They all sat there awkwardly for a few moments. Meredith and Cristina looked bored, Alex still had a scowl on his face, George couldn't make eye contact and Izzie had a huge smile spread across her face.

Once everyone had found their table, surrounded by others in their degree, Derek instructed them all to exchange phone numbers, emails, Facebook… anything that they could keep in contact with.

"The degrees that you are all completing are not easy at all… especially for those of you hoping to go into medicine," He explained, making eye contact with each table, "You're going to need each other to make this experience easier and more enjoyable. You're going to become family."

Izzie eagerly grabbed her phone and asked everyone for their number. Reluctantly, everyone eventually exchanged their phone numbers, with Meredith surprisingly taking the lead by sharing her number first. She noticed that Derek seemed to be listening in as she told the table her number. A part of her hoped that he would remember it.

"Alright guys," Derek spoke, smiling gently at everyone in the room. "That's all we have time for today but next week we'll get into the fun stuff – talking about bones."

No one groaned this time, but rather they all stood up and collected their things. Izzie asked everyone what their next class was and in which building. To her delight, they all had the same lecture and building for the next class. As they all started to leave, Derek placed his hand on Meredith's arm, causing her to turn towards him. Cristina, Izzie, Alex and George all stood at the door waiting. They all looked on curiously. Meredith felt their eyes on them and quickly shook Derek's hand off of her arm. Without saying anything, Meredith walked towards the door and past her classmates. The four of them exchanged confused glances and gave an awkward wave to Derek as they followed her.

"What was that all about?" Izzie asked, catching up with Meredith. "Have you met him before?"

"No," Meredith lied, not making eye contact with any of them.

None of them believed her, but none of them argued either. What was the point? They all understood that Meredith clearly didn't want to talk about it, and none of them knew her well enough to get it out of her.

"Well," Izzie said after a period of silence, "He's the dreamiest teacher I have ever seen."

"Same here," Cristina agreed, "He's McDreamy."

Alex and George rolled their eyes while Izzie and Meredith exchanged puzzled expressions before cracking up with laughter. It was in that moment that Meredith was glad she ended up being a part of this unlikely group. As they all entered the hall for their next lecture, she quickly took them all in. Izzie Stevens: the tall and beautiful blonde with a contagious smile and the body of a model. Alex Karev: the muscular, dark-haired boy with a permanent scowl on his face. Cristina Yang: the quiet and collected girl with an expressionless but somehow welcoming expression constantly spread across her face. And George O'Malley: the awkward boy who looked like a lost puppy, causing Meredith to feel weirdly protective of him.

These four individuals who she followed into the lecture hall were an odd group, but Meredith had a feeling that they were all going to be fast friends.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hey everyone! Thanks for reading the 2nd chapter. I know it was a bit uneventful, but I really wanted to briefly introduce these characters and the environment that they will be interacting in: University!

I'm hoping to make the next few chapters a bit more eventful now that I've had the chance to introduce _most_ of the main characters. :) I hope you guys enjoyed reading it so far! Please leave a review - it would be greatly appreciated! Xx


	3. Chapter 3: McFlirty

A week had passed since Meredith's first day at University. The past seven days had felt like a blur. Everything was so fast paced, Meredith could hardly keep up. She had attended all of her lectures throughout the week with Izzie, Cristina, Alex and George. Being in the same degree, it turned out they all had the same lectures. There were some classes where they were apart, but each of Meredith's classes had at least one of them in it. In her Biology tutorial, Meredith sat with Cristina. Izzie, George and Alex had the same tutorial, but it was at a different time. For Chemistry, Meredith was with Alex. They barely spoke but Meredith noticed that Alex was a lot smarter than he seemed. In her public health tutorial, Meredith was with Izzie and George. They were much more talkative than Cristina and Alex were. Meredith couldn't decide what she liked more – being with people who were talkative or those who were silent. She was leaning more towards the silence.

Meredith had been taken aback by the workload she and her classmates were given in the first week. She had assumed there would be at least SOME work, but Meredith felt as if she were already drowning in it. Izzie had made a group chat on WhatsApp for them all to join and every night she made them discuss what work they were doing, for what class and how they were going with it. Most of the time however, someone shifted the topic from the work to something personal. Their favourite topic lately was Meredith and Derek. Not that there wasn't much to talk about. Meredith hadn't seen Derek since their awkward encounter at the end of the anatomy tutorial last week. For the most part, she was too busy with studying to even think about him, but she would be lying if she said she didn't think about him _at all._ It was hard not to. Derek was the prettiest man she had ever seen. He was jaw-dropping beautiful. That was why when Meredith walked through the door of room 231, building 63, for her second anatomy tutorial her heart was racing. Izzie and George were talking animatedly about their latest anatomy lecture and how interesting it was while Cristina and Alex followed on silently. Meredith had decided that Cristina and Alex both had permanent scowls on their face.

"Take a seat where you sat last week," Derek instructed cheerfully to everyone as they walked in, "I want you all sitting with the same people as before."

Izzie led the way to the corner of the room where they were sitting before. Meredith noticed that Izzie waited for Alex to sit down before she did… taking a seat next to him. Alex was completely oblivious to Izzie's admiration, but no one else was. George, Cristina and Meredith all exchanged knowing glances before they all took a seat. It took a few minutes for the rest of the class to flow in, but at 8:00am on the dot, the class started.

"Alright guys!" Derek clapped his hands together excitedly, "I've put a pile of worksheets on your tables for you all to work on together today. The questions are all surrounding the lectures you had last week. If you have any trouble with them, feel free to ask questions to me or to the others on your table."

"What I want to know is…" Izzie whispered, a seductive look on her face, "How did McDreamy get so… _dreamy_? I'd let him go down on me any day."

Meredith flinched.

"What was that, Izzie?" Derek asked, approaching their table.

The seductive look spread across Izzie's face was replaced with a look of sheer embarrassment. Cristina choked on the water she had just sipped and burst out into laughter, Alex following her lead. The two of them were practically in stitches. George was the only one who didn't look amused.

"Nothing, sir- I mean Derek!" Izzie stuttered, picking up one of the worksheets and hiding behind it, "Just feeling excited to start this worksheet!"

Cristina snorted as she grabbed a worksheet for herself and passed one to Meredith. They all stared at the questions for a moment before they broke out into discussions and arguments about what the answers were.

"No way, O'Malley," Alex barked, rolling his eyes, "It's definitely endochondral ossification. There's cartilage present!"

As the rest of the table stared at the diagram in front of them, trying to see what Alex was arguing about, Meredith averted her gaze from the worksheet to Derek. He was sitting against his desk, staring right back at her. Her cheeks began to flush a rosy pink as she quickly looked away. Had he been staring at her this whole time?

"Exchanging longing looks with McDreamy?" Cristina teased quietly, nudging Meredith in the side. "He hasn't stopped looking at you this whole time."

"Shut _up_ ," Meredith hissed, dropping her gaze back to the worksheet. She placed her finger on one of the diagrams of a bone, "That's the diaphysis, right? The shaft?"

It didn't take long for Meredith's table to finish the worksheet. They were all strong in particular areas. Meredith was good at labelling the different areas of the bones, Alex had a deep understanding of ossification, Cristina… well, Cristina was good at it all and Izzie and George were good at identifying the ages of the bones. When they finished the worksheet, Meredith glanced at the clock. They still had ten minutes of the class remaining.

"So what now?" Alex asked, his voice sounding bored.

Meredith, Cristina, Izzie and George all exchanged glances. They may have spent the majority of last week together, but they all still found it hard to make small talk.

"Are you guys finished?" Derek appeared behind Meredith's chair, causing her to jump. She hadn't heard him walk over.

Cristina and Izzie exchanged amused looks.

"Yeah," Cristina responded, smirking at Meredith who was now blushing. "Want to check our answers?"

Derek nodded. Cristina held out her worksheet, but Derek ignored it. He reached over Meredith and examined her responses instead. Izzie laughed at Cristina's obvious disappointment while Meredith continued to stare at the ground, feeling awkward. She could feel Derek standing over her. She could practically feel the heat radiating off of his body onto hers. Her heart was beating fast – she loved that he was standing so close to her but she couldn't admit that.

"Your answers all look good," Derek commented, purposely brushing his hand against Meredith's shoulder as he put her sheet back onto the table, "You've all done fantastic work today."

As Derek walked back towards his desk, Meredith exhaled. She hadn't realised she was holding her breath. She lifted the back of her hand against her right cheek and felt how warm it was. She was blushing. Hard.

"Alright everyone!" Derek clapped his hands together again, just like he had at the beginning of class, "It's now 9:01a.m. Officially time for you all to leave. Get out of here!"

Everyone gathered their things together quickly and made their way for the door. Unintentionally, Meredith was the last to leave. She had decided on bringing a smaller bag today, which made it harder for her to put things away. It took her longer than the others to collect her things.

"You guys go ahead," Meredith suggested, trying her best to fit her notebook back into her bag, "I'll catch up."

They all left, with Izzie turning to give Meredith a wink before shooting a knowing glance towards Derek. Meredith rolled her eyes and continued to put things away. Did she really think a bag this small was a good idea?

"Hey you," Derek said, appearing behind Meredith again. She jumped, just as she did before, but this time she was standing up. She almost fell over. "Whoa, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Meredith replied coolly, "Just packing up my things."

"I can't stop thinking about you, _Meredith,_ " Derek admitted. He lowered his voice as his next class started to arrive and take a seat, "I can't stop thinking about that night."

Meredith's heart began to race. She felt her cheeks start to get warm again. A few of the students walking in gave her and Derek questioning looks. Was he standing as close to her as she thought he was? Was that even appropriate?

"Well you're going to have to try and stop thinking about it. You're my _teacher_. I don't want people thinking I'm getting any special treatment from you in this class. If I had known you were going to be teaching me… I would have never…" Meredith looked around awkwardly at the now busy classroom.

"Slept with me?" Derek finished for her, smiling cheekily, "Are you so sure?"

"I-I'm… I'm sure!" Meredith blurted out, picking up her bag and rushing to the door. Derek's next class were staring at her and Meredith hated it. She never did like being at the centre of attention.

"You'll come around!" Derek called out after her, "I'm someone you'll eventually learn to love."

* * *

After her awkward encounter with Derek, Meredith finally caught up with her friends. They were already in the next lecture which had started. Meredith was late.

"What did I miss?" Meredith whispered, crawling into the seat next to Cristina.

"We're learning about the different types of cell receptors," Izzie whispered back, not shifting her eyes from the lecturer, "Focusing on G-protein coupled receptors at the moment."

" _Shh_ ," Alex hissed, shooting Izzie and Meredith impatient looks, "I'm trying to listen. It's your fault for being late, Mer. Catch up in your own time."

The rest of the lecture they all sat in silence. Cristina, Izzie, Alex and George all took notes. Meredith had her pen in her hand and her notebook open, but she couldn't focus. All she could think about was Derek and the conversation they had at the end of class. His words rang in her ears.

" _I'm someone you'll eventually learn to love_."

It wasn't until the lecture ended and the others started packing up and leaving that Meredith snapped out of it. She packed her things away as quickly as she could and stood up to catch up with her friends. They were all discussing the lecture with each other loudly.

"What do you think, Mer?" Izzie asked, turning her head to look at her, "Would a cell membrane receptor or a steroid receptor be faster?"

"Cell membrane!" Alex demanded, not giving Meredith a chance to respond, "Steroid receptors have to move into the nucleus and act on genes. It takes much longer."

"Karev is right," Cristina nodded, "I'm pretty sure steroid receptors are one of the slowest."

"Do you guys know where any bulletin boards are?" Meredith asked, not paying attention to the conversation anymore. She had placed her hand in her pocket and been reminded of a flyer she had folded in there. It was an advert she had made last night for a roommate. Her rent was becoming too expensive with the price of tuition and all the gas money she was using up. Plus, even though she didn't want to admit it, Meredith was lonely.

"There's one outside the Chemistry podium," Izzie answered happily, "Want me to show you?"

Meredith nodded and to her surprise, everyone followed. She had expected at least Alex to make his way home without them. The bulletin board wasn't too far away and soon they were all standing and waiting for Meredith to do something. Meredith reached into her pocket and unfolded the sheet of paper in her pocket. Using one of the thumb tacks already on the corkboard, she stuck her ad next to another sheet of paper advertising cheap Chemistry tutoring.

"Looking for a roommate…" Izzie chirped, reading Meredith's ad aloud, "Two different bedrooms to choose from… house is close to campus…"

"$180 per month…" George continued, brushing past Cristina to look at the ad. Izzie and George exchanged glances before both turning to face Meredith.

"I'll be your roommate!" They both exclaimed simultaneously. Cristina laughed as Meredith cringed. She didn't want to be roomies with people she had to see every day at school already. She wanted someone who wouldn't talk to her too much. Someone who wouldn't get in her way.

"No way," Meredith responded, turning away from the ad and making her way towards where she parked. Before they left, Izzie and George took out their phones and took a photo of the advert. To their surprise, Cristina did the same thing. When they looked at her questioningly, she just shrugged.

"It's close to campus," She argued, turning to catch up to Meredith, "And it's cheap."

Before Izzie followed on, she noticed that Alex was no longer standing with them all. He had disappeared.

"Wait!" Izzie called out, running to catch up with the others, "Where did Alex go?"

"Who cares?" Cristina yawned, tying her long hair back into a ponytail, "He probably got bored and went home."

Izzie's face sank, "He said we could catch the bus home together."

As the four of them made their way around the corner, their gazes all simultaneously fell upon Alex with his body pressed against a beautiful and petite blonde girl. Meredith, Cristina and George all exchanged awkward glances before looking up at Izzie.

"Oh," Izzie breathed, trying to hide her disappointment, "I guess he's busy."

"He's more than busy!" Cristina laughed. Meredith nudged her in the side. " _Ow._ What was that for?!"

Izzie stormed away towards the bus stop, George close at her heels. It took Cristina a moment to realise that Izzie had a crush on Alex.

"Oh," Cristina mumbled, not sounding particularly empathetic, "Well, that sucks."

Meredith laughed before waving Cristina goodbye and walking over to her car. Once she got in, she sank into her seat and closed her eyes momentarily. It had been a long day. With her eyes closed, Derek's face appeared before her and his voice rang in her ears again:

 _I'm someone you'll eventually learn to love._

"Ugh," Meredith groaned, fastening her seatbelt and turning on the engine, "I need a drink."


	4. Chapter 4: McBreakUp

Meredith woke up to the sound of her phone vibrating. She sat up and groaned, reaching for her phone on the bedside table.

"Mer?" A familiar voice whispered, "You awake?"

"Unfortunately," Meredith whispered back, rubbing her eyes with one hand. Her head was throbbing. "What's up?"

"I can't stop thinking about Alex and that… _girl_ ," It was Izzie on the other end. Meredith looked at her clock. 3:00am.

"Iz… it's three in the morning. Go to sleep." Meredith groaned, falling back into her pillow. She shut her eyes momentarily. Her head was still throbbing. Why was it hurting so much?

"Do you think he likes her?" Izzie asked, ignoring Meredith's advice, "Or is it just physical?"

Meredith sighed, "I don't know."

Izzie breathed heavily on the other end. For the first time that Meredith had ever experienced, Izzie was speechless. She had nothing to say. There was a sniffle from Izzie's end, causing Meredith to open her eyes again.

"Iz?" Meredith said loudly in disbelief, "Are you… _crying_?"

"Meredith?" Another voice said quietly, this time it was a male's voice. "What time is it?"

The voice was coming from her bed. There was someone in bed with her. Meredith turned her head hesitantly and found herself staring into those familiar blue eyes. Those blue eyes that she had been avoiding since the semester started.

"Shit," Meredith cursed, stumbling out of bed and dropping her phone, "shit, shit, shit."

Derek sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes, looking at Meredith with a puzzled expression. His dark hair fell messily across his face and his lips were chapped. Even at 3:00a.m, half asleep, Derek was still breathtakingly handsome.

"Who was that on the phone?" He asked, oblivious to Meredith's obvious discomfort.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?" Meredith ignored his question. Her voice was shaky and her eyebrows were furrowed. The throbbing in her head was worse than ever. Seriously, why was it hurting so much?

"You _seduced_ me at the bar last night," Derek whispered seductively, "Don't you remember? You told me I was the most beautiful person you had ever met?"

"No…" Meredith shuddered. Had she really said that?

"Ohh _kay_ ," Derek pouted jokingly, "Maybe you didn't tell me I was the most beautiful person you had ever met. But you _did_ seduce me."

Meredith paced her bedroom, picking at her brain. She did remember driving to the bar and ordering a couple of drinks from the bartender. She remembered seeing Alex and that girl he was getting physical with. The girl was blonde, beautiful and looked closer to Derek's age than Alex's. Meredith had wondered if she were a teacher at their school too. Alex had given her a subtle wave and a wink from the booth he was sitting in. That was as much as Meredith could remember. The rest was a blur. She couldn't even remember Derek being in the bar with her.

"Do you seriously not remember?" Derek was frowning now. He looked serious. Meredith hadn't seen him look so serious before. "How drunk _were_ you?"

Meredith stopped pacing and shrugged her shoulders. She honestly couldn't answer that.

"You have to go," She whispered gently, her gaze dropping to the floor. Meredith was disappointed in herself for sleeping with him… _again._ As beautiful as he was, nothing could ever happen between them. He made her heart race with just one look and she felt… calm just looking at him, but there was no way that she could have a relationship with her _teacher_. The last thing Meredith wanted was people thinking that she was getting special treatment from one of her teachers. She needed all of her achievements to be hers and hers alone. Help was never something that she was given. She had grown to live without it.

"It's 3:30am, Meredith," Derek stated, his eyes on the clock next to her bed. "Are you really going to kick me out now?"

Meredith nodded. If Derek stayed, she knew that she wouldn't be able to resist him. He made her stomach do too many forward flips.

"Fine," Derek grumbled, climbing out of Meredith's bed. He was completely naked. His body was toned and he had a subtle tan. Meredith's mouth dropped open. "But don't expect me to get into bed with you again, Meredith. There's only so much humiliation that I can deal with."

"Fine," Meredith responded, "Good."

She reached for her blanket and wrapped it around her naked body. Derek found his clothes which were spread around the floor. He quickly put his pants on, followed by his belt and then his button-up shirt. Without glancing at Meredith again, he was out the door slamming it behind him. Meredith dropped the blanket and fell back onto her bed, staring up at her ceiling. Her mind was racing. Words that her mother had told her a couple of years ago rang in her ears:

 _Men will only let you down, Meredith. Don't let yourself get attached. The only person you can rely on is yourself._


	5. Chapter 5: McHottie

"I'm Addison Montgomery," A tall, strikingly beautiful woman introduced herself to a room full of Biology students. Addison had deep auburn hair, subtle blue eyes and a smile that could steal the heart of millions. Maybe it already had.

Cristina and Meredith had crept into their Biology tutorial a couple of minutes late, finding two seats in the corner of the room. It had been Cristina's fault this time. She had insisted on waiting for a coffee before getting to class. The coffee had taken much longer to prepare than expected.

"Your previous tutor sends his apologies," Addison continued, addressing the whole class. She shot Cristina and Meredith a warm smile quickly to acknowledge their presence. "But he has been given an _amazing_ opportunity and has asked me to take over his duties in this class."

Cristina let out a small groan. Meredith turned to her, giving her a questioningly look. Why did Cristina care so much? Meredith had a good feeling about Addison.

"Our other tutor was totally into me," Cristina whispered, "I don't think Addison will be as easily seduced. She's a McHottie."

Meredith laughed, half hoping Cristina was joking, "You're despicable."

"No," Cristina argued, her face unchanged, "I'm smart."

Meredith rolled her eyes and turned to face the front of the room. The light from outside the classroom shone through the window and illuminated Addison's already stunning features. It was hard to focus on what Addison was saying when the sun made her look like some sort of goddess.

The class was only an hour long. The first half was dedicated to Addison introducing herself and the students reintroducing themselves for her benefit. Once that was done, they moved on to the content of the course. Addison sparked discussions about the lecture content and answered any questions that students had. Meredith noted that Addison was intelligent. She was able to answer any question a student had with unshakable confidence. Not only that, but she answered every question with a smile. Meredith admired that. Addison was clearly passionate about what she had to teach. When the hour was up, everyone packed up their pens, books and whatever else they had spread across their desk. Cristina was one of the first out of the door, but Meredith lingered in the classroom for a moment.

"Thanks for today," Meredith said genuinely, "You really reinforced my understanding of the cell."

Addison grinned, her white teeth shining, "I'm happy to hear that."

Meredith nodded and turned to leave, unintentionally running into the chest of Derek Shepherd. She looked up at him awkwardly, her cheeks warming. It had been a little over a week now since their _second_ awkward encounter in bed, where Meredith had kicked him out at three in the morning. Derek had hardly spoken a word to Meredith since then. He hadn't been staring at her nearly as much either. Meredith pretended it didn't bother her, but it did. She missed sharing longing glances with her handsome… _bed-buddy_? Meredith wasn't entirely sure what he was to her. He wasn't exactly her friend and he definitely wasn't her boyfriend.

"Hey," Derek said, still not making eye contact with Meredith.

"Hey…" She responded uncomfortably. Cristina was waiting outside the room, shooting Meredith impatient glances from the window. "I've gotta get to my next class. Um, bye."

Addison waved politely, but Derek just stood there. He didn't say bye or wave like Addison did. Meredith bit her lip and hurried out of the room. Cristina had already started making her way to their next class. They had their Chemistry lecture next with the others. Before Meredith ran to catch up with Cristina, she quickly glanced through the window back into the classroom. Her heart sank and her breathing stopped. Back in the classroom, Addison and Derek were locking lips. Addison was running her fingers through Derek's thick black hair while Derek had his hand on the small of Addison's back. It was a beautiful scene for anyone who wasn't Meredith. Two beautiful people locking lips, lost in a passionate kiss. It was like a scene from a movie.

"Dammit," Meredith mumbled under her breath, fighting back tears as she ran to catch up to Cristina. Why was she so hurt over seeing Derek kissing Addison? She knew that she could never have a relationship with Derek. Besides, she was the one who rudely kicked him out at 3:00am.

"You okay?" Cristina asked when Meredith finally caught up, "You look like you're going to throw up."

"I might," Meredith replied, speed walking ahead of Cristina. All Meredith wanted now was to get to class and pretend she never looked into that stupid window in the first place. "I saw my McDreamy kissing McHottie."

Cristina stopped in her tracks and let out a small laugh, " _McWhat_?!"


	6. Chapter 6: McJealous

"Why do you look so depressed today, Mer?" Alex asked, not looking up from the worksheet in front of him.

Meredith, Alex, Cristina, Izzie and George were all sitting together in the corner of room 231, building 63. Derek had prepared another worksheet for his anatomy class to work through.

Cristina smirked, "Meredith caught McDreamy playing tongue wars with McHottie." She was more than happy to answer Alex's question for Meredith. Izzie shot Cristina a disapproving glare and turned to place a reassuring hand on Meredith's shoulder.

"Who is McHottie?" George asked curiously, looking up from his worksheet momentarily. Izzie kicked him from under the table. " _Ow!_ "

"Our hot new Biology tutor," Cristina explained, ignoring George's cry of pain, "Her name is Addison Montgomery."

Meredith groaned and placed her hands on her ears. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about Addison and Derek. Since she had seen them kissing last week, Meredith hadn't stopped thinking about it. She tried to busy herself with school work. She even tried to spend more time with her new friends to take her mind off of it all but nothing worked.

"So, Mer, have you found your new roommates yet?" Izzie shot her a warm smile. She was trying to change the subject. "Have you been having interviews and stuff?"

Meredith shrugged her shoulders. She had honestly forgotten about looking for a roommate. It wasn't that she hadn't been getting any messages about it; it was more that she hadn't been looking at them.

"No," Meredith replied honestly, her voice low. "Not really."

Izzie beamed and sat up straighter, her mouth opening to say something. Before she could, Cristina interrupted her.

"I'll be your roommate," Cristina offered, not even making eye contact with Meredith. She didn't sound overly eager or excited in the same way that George and Izzie had when they offered the other day. Meredith pondered on Cristina's offer for a moment, spinning her pen around her finger. Izzie and George were sweet, kind and friendly. They were always there for Meredith in the short time that she had known them, but there was something about Cristina that Meredith clicked with more. Cristina was never overly eager and she didn't speak too much. She and Meredith seemed to connect in that way. Neither of them was particularly good at small talk and could sit together in silence without feeling awkward. Meredith didn't share that with Izzie or George. Plus, Cristina loved tequila just as much as Meredith did. What more could she ask for?

"Okay," Meredith responded, her face unchanged. "You can move in whenever."

A small smile crept across Cristina's face, but it vanished as fast as it had appeared.

"What?!" Izzie and George protested loudly, causing Derek to shoot them disapproving looks.

"Are you _serious_?" Izzie hissed quietly, leaning in towards Meredith. "I thought you said you didn't want to live with someone you have to see at school every day!"

Meredith shrugged. "I can't be bothered to hold any interviews."

"Well can Izzie and I at least move into your other spare room?" George pleaded, "Think of all the money you'll save!"

Cristina groaned but Meredith pondered on this too and eventually nodded, "Why not?"

Izzie and George exchanged a hi-5, while Cristina rolled her eyes and sunk down into her chair. Meredith wasn't sure that this would be a good idea, but at this point she didn't care. She could use all the distractions she could get. Maybe having the three of them around would help her think about Derek and Addison less.

"Good luck with them, Mer," Alex teased, starting to put his pens away. Class was almost over. "It'll be like living with three annoying children."

Cristina poked her tongue out in response and George rolled his eyes. Izzie just sat still, her expression hard. Meredith wondered if things had been awkward between Izzie and Alex lately. She had been too lost in her own thoughts to notice if they had.

"Alright guys! Time's up." Derek announced happily, "I'll see you all bright and early again next week."

Izzie stood up abruptly and made a beeline for the door. George followed soon after, exchanging puzzled glances with Meredith. Alex and Cristina, as usual, were oblivious to Izzie's abrupt exit and continued to argue about one of the questions on the worksheet. They continued to argue as they exited the room. Meredith sighed and tried to clear her stuff up quickly. She was always the last one out, especially lately. Being lost in her thoughts meant that she was slower at tidying up than everyone else. When Meredith noticed that she was the last one left in the room, besides Derek, she tried to pack her bag faster. Meredith shoved her pencil case into her already overfilled bag. As she made her way for the door, her pencil case burst out and all of its contents spilled all over the floor.

"Shit," Meredith cursed impatiently, squatting down to pick up all of her stationary. She wished she had taken the time to zip her pencil case up. " _Seriously?_ "

"You okay?" Derek crouched down on the ground next to Meredith and passed her one of her pens. "You really should look into bringing a bigger bag."

Meredith stared at him in disbelief. These were the first words that he had spoken to her in over a week. He still couldn't make eye contact. She watched as his blue eyes darted from the floor, to her bag, to some random corner of the room. He was looking everywhere but at her.

"You still can't even _look_ at me?" Meredith whimpered, quickly zipping up her pencil case. She decided she would just carry it. It wasn't going to fit into her small bag. Derek shook his head gently, but didn't respond. Meredith waited for a few moments until she realised that he wasn't going to answer. A shot of anger fired through Meredith, causing her to stand up abruptly and almost trip over her own feet. Once she composed herself, she made a beeline for the door just as Izzie had earlier. Meredith felt like an idiot for acting like such a child, but Derek made her feel things that she had never felt before. That included anger and hurt over something that he had every right to do anyway: kiss Addison.

"Have fun with your McHottie," Meredith said icily; turning to face Derek once she reached the door.

"McHottie?" Derek asked in response, looking puzzled. He looked dreamy even when he was confused. Even when Meredith was mad at him.

"Addison!" Meredith practically screamed, turning away and opening the door. To her horror, as the door opened, Addison's smiling face emerged. She looked even more beautiful today than she had when Meredith first met her. It made Meredith's blood boil.

"Hi Meredith," Addison flashed her perfect teeth, "How are you?"

Meredith inhaled deeply and sidestepped past Addison, not even bothering to respond. Without looking back at Derek or his perfect McHottie, Meredith ran as fast as she could towards her next class. It had been a long time since she had been this humiliated.

 _Embarrassment is weakness, Meredith. Hold your head up high and don't let anyone see your shame._

"Shut up, _Mom_." Meredith snapped.


	7. Chapter 7: McCheater

Meredith spent the rest of the semester avoiding Derek as much as she could. It was difficult to avoid him during his class, but Meredith did her best. As soon as the class would end, she would pack up faster than anyone else and make her way for the door. More often than not, she was the first student out. And for the most part, Derek never said anything about it. A part of Meredith wished he would call out for her and ask her to wait. A part of Meredith wanted to just drop everything she was holding and wrap her arms around his neck in a tight embrace. But she couldn't.

At the end of every week, Meredith found herself at the University bar, drowning her sorrows with shots of tequila. Most nights Cristina would tag along, and sometimes Izzie, George and Alex would come too, depending on how much study they had to do. If Meredith were particularly unlucky, Addison and Derek would turn up too, hand in hand after a long day. Sometimes Meredith would feel Derek staring at her from across the room, but she tried to shake it off. He was there with Addison, not Meredith. After a few drinks, Derek and Addison would spend the rest of the night singing, dancing and kissing. When it got to that point, Meredith and Cristina would leave and find somewhere else to drink tequila. Usually they would just go home and have their own silent dance party in the lounge room. Cristina was never verbally empathetic to Meredith's situation, but Meredith knew that she cared. She just had her own funny way of showing it.

Tonight, however, was different. It was the end of semester and the bar was full of people celebrating their successful semester. The music was louder, the atmosphere happier and the line for drinks longer. As Meredith entered the bar she shuddered at how crowded it was. Cristina, Alex, Izzie and George followed close behind and all reacted to the crowded environment differently.

"Oh my god," Izzie exclaimed excitedly, "This is going to be _SO_ much fun!"

Cristina sighed and exchanged unhappy expressions with Meredith. They preferred the quiet. Both of their gazes fell upon the busy bar. Would they ever be able to get their shots of tequila?

"I like the music," George mused, tapping his foot along to the beat.

"Are we going to just stand here all night?" Alex asked impatiently, making his way for the bar. "I don't know about you guys but I need a drink."

Izzie smiled and followed at his heels, whispering something in his ear that Meredith couldn't pick up on. Whatever it was, it made Alex blush like a school girl. The tension between Izzie and Alex over the semester had died down. Meredith wasn't sure why, but lately they seemed closer. It wasn't any of her business though, so she didn't ask what was going on. And, surprisingly, Izzie hadn't said anything.

"You guys want a drink?" George asked, smiling at Cristina and Meredith. Without missing a beat, Cristina and Meredith both asked for a shot of tequila. George rolled his eyes and nodded, making his way over to Izzie and Alex at the bar. While the others waited to order their drinks, Meredith and Cristina found a booth to sit in. There weren't many free, but they managed to find one in the corner of the room. It was somewhat secluded, but it had a good view of the whole bar. As the girls made themselves comfortable, the bell of the bar door tingled and Meredith watched Addison stumble in. She had her arm wrapped around a man that Meredith had never seen before. He was tall, broad-shouldered and handsome in a scruffy way. Meredith usually didn't like beards, but she admired his. It made him look mysterious and even more attractive.

"Who is _that_?" Izzie asked, following Meredith's gaze. She took a seat at the booth and signalled Alex to sit next to her. "He's hot."

"Is that McHottie with him?" George asked, sliding in next to Meredith. "They look cosy."

The five of them watched on as Addison and the mysterious man walked towards the bar. They had been laughing from the second they walked in. If Meredith hadn't known Addison was dating Derek, she would've assumed this mysterious man was her boyfriend.

"Where's McDreamy then?" Cristina questioned, looking at Meredith sideways. The rest of the booth sat in silence, all staring at Meredith, waiting for her to respond.

"How should I know?" Meredith spat back, turning her back on Addison. Why did everyone assume that she knew where Derek was? She hadn't spoken to him properly since she made a fool of herself in front of him and Addison a few weeks ago. _Have fun with your McHottie._ Meredith shuddered. What had she been thinking?

"Isn't he visiting his sister?" Alex piped up, snapping Meredith back to reality. "I emailed him the other week about our anatomy assignment and he referred me to another tutor. Apparently his sister is in the hospital or something. I think he's in Washington."

The whole table all nodded their heads slowly and sat in silence for a few moments. Alex and Izzie played footsies underneath the table while George watched on rolling his eyes. Cristina stared at the shot of tequila in front of her and then at Meredith's.

"Shall we?" Cristina asked, lifting her shot glass up towards Meredith.

"We shall." Meredith responded, lifting her glass up and tapping it against Cristina's. Not waiting any longer, they both tilted their heads back and took their shot. Meredith cringed initially, until she felt the familiar warmth of alcohol travel through her body. A shot of tequila is exactly what she needed.

"Whoa," Izzie whispered, staring off into the bar. "Look at that."

Everyone turned and followed Izzie's gaze, only to see Addison and the mysterious man all over each other. The man had his big, muscular hands resting on Addison's lower back while Addison had her arms wrapped around his neck. They were making out as if no one could see them. People could definitely see them.

"Talk about PDA," Alex commented, taking a sip of his beer. "Do you think they know they're in a public place?"

"Wait," George started, looking directly at Meredith again. "So McHottie and McDreamy broke up?"

Once again, all eyes were on Meredith. Everyone waited eagerly for her response, clearly enjoying the drama. Meredith was speechless. She wasn't sure if Derek and Addison had broken up. She had been avoiding Derek for weeks now and since he had been away, she hadn't seen him once. If they had broken up, Meredith didn't know it. As if on cue, Addison pulled away from the tall man that she was locking lips with. For a split second she just smiled up at him, looking happier than Meredith had ever seen her look. Meredith and the others stared for a while, until Addison finally looked in their direction. A look of guilt instantly spread across Addison's face and her mouth dropped open. She looked as if she had just been caught doing something she shouldn't be doing. The man next to her followed her gaze and smiled at Meredith and the others, giving them a wave. Clearly he didn't feel quite as guilty.

"Well," Cristina snorted, turning to face everyone in the booth. "I guess that answers that question."

Meredith watched on as Addison ran out of the bar looking guilty as ever. The tall and scruffy man followed on soon afterwards, looking like a lost and confused puppy. A tall and handsome puppy. With a beard.

"What…" Meredith breathed, suddenly needing another shot of tequila, "Just happened?"

Izzie, Alex and George turned back to face the booth and shrugged. Cristina had a wide smile spread across her face.

"I guess McHottie is a McCheater."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hi everyone! Thanks for the lovely reviews Patsy and Gina :) I read them all and was very happy! I hope you are all enjoying the story so far. I've kept each of the newer chapters relatively short compared to the first couple - I thought you guys might enjoy that more. If you like the longer chapters, let me know and I can go back to those ones. If you like the shorter ones though, please let me know! They are a lot easier to write:)

Anyway, how are you guys liking the story so far? I wonder how Derek will react when he finds out that Addison cheated on him... in the bar, where anyone could see! Do you think Meredith will tell him? I guess you'll all have to find out. ;) Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8: Another One Bites the Dust

The next morning, Meredith was woken abruptly by her roommate and friend, Cristina. It was 7AM and Meredith's head was still throbbing from their night out at the bar.

"Get up, Mer," Cristina instructed firmly. She was standing at the end of Meredith's bed with a serious expression on her face.

"Hm? What?" Meredith mumbled quietly in response, turning over slightly in her bed. She was still half asleep.

"Get up." Cristina repeated, a little more firmly. She pulled the blankets from Meredith's bed onto the floor. "We're going for a run!"

Meredith groaned and sat up slowly while rubbing her eyes. She turned to look at the clock and groaned even louder when she saw how early in the morning it still was. Why was Cristina up so early? Especially after she and the others only got home at about 3AM from the bar last night. After Addison left suddenly with her mysterious make-out buddy, Meredith and the others had stuck around at the bar just talking, drinking and dancing. Izzie and Alex even exchanged a kiss, catching everyone by surprise.

"Come on, get dressed." Cristina was still standing at the end of Meredith's bed. She had one hand placed on her hip.

"I don't run…" Meredith responded, throwing one of her pillows at Cristina. "Anyway, aren't you hung over from last night?"

Cristina laughed. "I'm a Yang. We don't get hangovers."

After rolling her eyes and throwing a few more pillows, Meredith finally gave in and crawled out of bed. She put on a plain white tank with the words: "I HATE CARDIO", full length black tights from lululemon and her favourite mint nike free runs. Once Meredith located her favourite grey hoodie, she and Cristina were out the door. They decided to go running at the park near their house. For the first half of the run, they were both silent. Meredith was still trying to properly wake up and Cristina was a much faster runner, making it hard for Meredith to keep up let alone keep a conversation going. It wasn't until Cristina stopped suddenly in her tracks and gasped that either of them said anything.

"RUN!" Cristina demanded loudly, turning around abruptly and running at full speed towards a large tree. It took Meredith a second to turn around herself and follow on behind.

"I thought we were already running!" Meredith called back, puffing slightly as she picked up the pace. When she finally made it to the tree, Cristina grabbed her wrist and pulled her behind it. They both stood there for a while. The only movement from either of them was Cristina occasionally popping her head around the tree, keeping an eye on someone.

"Why are we hiding?" Meredith whispered once she had finally caught her breath.

"Owen's here." Cristina replied. She was looking around the tree again. "God, why is he even out here? He should be hung over!"

Meredith placed her fingers on her temples and gently massaged her head. Even if Owen wasn't supposedly hung over, Meredith definitely was.

"Who is Owen?" Meredith asked eventually, popping her own head around the tree.

"That guy I made out with last night." Cristina whispered back.

Meredith thought back for a second, trying to remember if Cristina had been hanging around a guy. She vaguely remembered a tall, buff, redheaded man flirting with Cristina most of the night. She didn't know they kissed. As Meredith kept trying to remember last night, Cristina cursed loudly and made a run for it back towards their house. Meredith wasn't sure if she should even follow Cristina anymore. Instead, she decided to lean against the tree and shut her eyes. Maybe she could sleep in peace here.

"Meredith?" A familiar voice caused Meredith's eyes to burst open. She was met with a smiling Derek, who somehow managed to look sexy even while sweating. Her heart was racing. "I thought I saw you behind here. What are you doing?"

Meredith tried to signal towards Cristina to explain what was going on, but Cristina was nowhere to be seen. A tall, buff redheaded man who looked slightly familiar ran by the tree and shot Derek and Meredith a warm smile. That must be Owen, Meredith thought to herself.

"Meredith?" Derek repeated, raising an eyebrow at her. "What are you doing behind here?"

"Nothing," She replied quickly, snapping back to reality. "What are _you_ doing here? I thought you were in Washington."

Derek kept an eyebrow raised for a moment, before breaking out into an amused smile. He stared down at Meredith as he pondered his response. Meredith's heart was still racing. She hadn't seen Derek in weeks. It had been almost a month since he had even been able to look at her. She didn't realise how much she missed him staring at her until now. It took all of her willpower not to wrap her arms around him and plant kisses all over his beautiful face and body.

"I got back last night," He finally responded, smiling big. "I'm out for a run. Want to join me?"

Meredith honestly didn't want to run anymore. Cristina had dragged her out of bed after a night out and then just disappeared. Somehow Meredith was the one who was still outside in the fresh air. Even though Meredith didn't want to run, she _did_ want to spend time with Derek.

"Sure…" Meredith heard herself saying, without really thinking about it. Before she could change her mind, Derek's eyes lit up, causing Meredith's heart to skip a beat. His smile grew even wider, exposing more of his perfect white teeth. It gave Meredith a special kind of thrill that she had the power to cause Derek's eyes to light up in the way that they did. She wondered if Addison had the same power over him.

" _Addison…_ " Meredith whispered, quickly covering her mouth with her hand. She hadn't meant to say the name out loud, but she was overcome with anger at the thought of Derek's girlfriend. All her memories from last night came rushing back, including the passionate kiss between Addison and her mysterious "friend".

Derek's smile faded. He raised one of his eyebrows and looked down at Meredith expectantly, "What about her?" He asked.

Meredith shut her eyes and watched the kiss play in her head over and over. She watched the happiness in Addison's face drain away, only to be replaced by guilt. She could hear Cristina and the others laughing. She could feel their eyes on her as she watched the whole thing unfold. After seeing the door shut behind Addison as she left abruptly for the hundredth time in her head, Meredith finally opened her eyes. Derek was still looking down at her with an expectant expression. He was waiting for her to say something. He looked so innocent. Ignorant. Derek had no idea what Meredith had seen last night. He had no idea that his girlfriend cheated on him with a scruffier and taller version of himself. Meredith wondered how Derek would react to the news. Would he be angry and storm off? Would he be heartbroken and unable to move? Meredith didn't want to be the one to cause him such pain. Addison should be the one to tell him. It wasn't Meredith's place. She didn't want to be the one to take away Derek's beautiful, heart-warming smile.

"I've got to go," Meredith said softly, turning away and running back towards her house. She felt tears welling up in her eyes as her feet hit the grass. She wanted nothing more than to spend the morning with Derek, running around the park and chatting. She was even looking forward to it. But Meredith also knew that if she were around him, she would eventually slip up and accidentally mention Addison's infidelity. She couldn't risk seeing Derek's smile fade because of something she said, even if it wasn't technically her fault.

* * *

When Meredith got home, she walked straight into the kitchen to find some breakfast. To her surprise, Izzie and Cristina were already there dancing around in silence. Meredith stood still, just watching them dance. They both looked so calm.

"What are you guys doing?" Meredith asked, letting out a small laugh. It was strange to see them both dancing around to no music.

"Dancing it out," Cristina said matter-of-factly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She didn't stop dancing.

Meredith stared for a while, before feeling her own arms move a little, followed by her legs. Eventually she was dancing too. All three of them had their eyes shut as their bodies moved around to an imaginary beat. To Meredith's surprise, it was actually somewhat therapeutic to dance around in silence with her two friends.

"So why are you dancing it out, Mer?" Izzie asked, her eyes still shut.

"I saw Derek… I saw Derek and I couldn't tell him about Addison kissing someone else." Meredith replied. "Why are you guys dancing it out?"

"I kissed Alex," Izzie said sadly, still dancing. "And now he won't return my calls."

"I saw Owen and I ran away," Cristina answered, her voice low. "I ran away from a boy. How stupid is that?"

Meredith and Izzie burst out into laughter at Cristina's comment, but still continued to dance. They all did. It wasn't until George walked in that any of them even considered stopping.

"What the…" George mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He had just woken up. "What are you guys doing?"

"Dancing it out," Meredith said this time. She saw Cristina smile proudly from the corner of her eye. "It's actually really therapeutic. Want to join us?"

George stood in silence for a moment before shaking his head and turning back towards his room. "It's too early for this," He grumbled under his breath.

All three girls burst into laughter this time, grasping their stomach in response. They all laughed for what felt like forever, until they all sank onto the floor simultaneously. Meredith sat there for a while, thinking back to her earlier encounter with Derek. She pictured his charming smile and how happy he looked to be talking to her. Then she pictured Addison cheating on him in the bar last night.

"I should tell Derek," Meredith said quietly, pulling her knees into her chest.

"I should go find Alex," Izzie sighed.

"I'm going to call Owen." Cristina decided.

They all sat in silence for another moment before getting up abruptly and running in different directions. Izzie ran to her car to drive to Alex's house, Cristina ran up the stairs to her bedroom to find her phone and Meredith ran into the lounge room and fell onto the couch. She pulled her phone out of her back pocket and scrolled through her contacts until she found Derek's name. She stared at it for a long moment, running her finger gently over the letters. Her heart was racing again. Without giving herself a chance to change her mind, Meredith dialled Derek's number. After two rings, someone picked up.

"Derek?" Meredith said softly, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger nervously, "We need to talk."

"No," A voice responded quickly, catching Meredith off guard. "You don't."

It was Addison. Before Meredith had an opportunity to react, the call ended.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hey guys! I know it's been a couple of days since my last update, but I've just gotten back from a small trip with my friend. I didn't forget about the story! I've actually been thinking about and planning it quite a lot in my spare time. Well, anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the longer chapter today. MCDREAMY IS BACK! Yay! -Eevee


	9. Chapter 9: I'll Be There For You

Meredith Grey spent half of her break from University trying to contact Derek. Each time she tried to call him, she would get his voicemail.

"This is Derek Shepherd," His voicemail would start. Meredith had memorised it. "Sorry I can't get to the phone right now. Please leave a message after the beep." _BEEEEP._

Every night before bed, for two whole weeks, Meredith continued trying to call him. She figured he would eventually have to pick up. Addison couldn't be watching over his phone 24/7… could she? After two weeks of failed attempts, and a clear underestimation of Addison's craziness, Meredith finally gave up. What would she say to Derek anyway? How did she want him to react? Did she want him to break up with Addison and then start dating her? Meredith decided she didn't want to obsess over it anymore. Instead, she spent most of her nights before bed reading a book about the importance of self-worth. Most nights, Cristina would crawl into bed next to Meredith and just lay there in silence. At first, Meredith questioned what Cristina was doing, but after a few days she just let it be. She knew that Cristina would talk when she was ready. It took about a week for Cristina to be ready and it caught Meredith off guard. They were both lying in bed. Meredith was reading her self-worth book, nodding along slowly while Cristina was still, only her chest moving up and down as she inhaled and exhaled slowly.

"Owen asked me out two weeks ago," Cristina whispered, turning over on her side to face Meredith. She was expressionless. "And I said yes. We went out almost every day for two weeks." Cristina took a deep breath, "And then his freaking _wife_ called me."

A laugh escaped Meredith's lips. Cristina's confession sounded so… unlucky and even more unlikely. She wasn't sure if Cristina was joking or not. As she folded the corner of the page she was reading in her book and placed it on her bedside table, Cristina sighed loudly. Her face was still expressionless. She didn't laugh but she didn't look sad or particularly fazed either.

"Wait…" Meredith finally said, turning to face Cristina. She was lying on her side now too with her elbow propped up to hold her head "Are you _serious_? Owen has a wife?"

Cristina sighed again and lifted her elbow up to hold her head up so she could turn to look at Meredith square in the eyes. "Yep," She said softly, "A wife."

Meredith stared back at Cristina for a while. She didn't even try to hide her sympathy. She couldn't if she tried. Cristina's expressionless face was replaced by a flash of anger, hurt and then finally her bottom lip started to tremble as she completely broke down. Meredith watched on shocked and unsure of what to do. She had never seen Cristina cry before. Honestly, she didn't think Cristina _could_ cry.

"Cristina!" Meredith cried out, quickly wrapping her arms around her. They had never really hugged before, it wasn't something that they did, but in the moment it felt right. "Cristina, talk to me!"

Cristina's whole body was shaking in Meredith's arms. Tears were running down her face like a waterfall. The sound of her crying was so loud that neither of them had even heard Alex walk in. He stood at the end of Meredith's bed for a while, his mouth hanging open. Cristina's crying and Meredith's yelling had woken him up. It was his intention to come in to tell them to shut up, but when he saw Meredith cradling a crying Cristina, he was left speechless. For the past few weeks, Alex and Izzie had been getting closer. That's why he was in their house. He had spent the night in Izzie's bed. They had become a serious couple to the surprise of Meredith, Cristina and George. But everyone was embracing the idea of them together now. They made each other better people.

"Alex," Meredith whispered softly when she finally noticed him standing there. "Get out of here." She signalled towards the door and turned back to Cristina.

Alex didn't move. He wasn't as close to Cristina as Meredith was. No one was. But something inside of Alex switched on and his face of sympathy was replaced with a hard expression.

"Yang," He said coolly, "Stop crying. It's embarrassing."

Cristina didn't stop. She turned to face Alex momentarily before hiding her face again in Meredith's chest.

"What the hell, Alex?" Meredith hissed, signalling to the door again. "Seriously, get out of here!"

Alex shook his head and flashed Meredith a look that said _trust me._ Without saying anything, Alex crawled into bed with the girls. While Cristina continued to cry, Alex slid behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Meredith watched on with one eyebrow raised. In all the time that she had known Alex, about 4 months now, she had never seen him be compassionate about anything… except Izzie. Seeing him hold Cristina warmed her heart.

"Izzie's really changed you, huh?" Meredith teased, stroking Cristina's hair.

"Shut up." Alex replied, but he still didn't let go of Cristina.

It took a moment for Cristina to realise what was going on. When she finally noticed Alex's arms around her, she screamed. Alex and Meredith both laughed as Izzie and George ran in.

"What's going on?!" Izzie yelled, her eyes widening at the sight before her. The last thing she expected to walk into was her boyfriend in bed with her two best friends.

"This is not something I thought I would ever see," George laughed, "Not in a million years."

Izzie watched on, eyes wide. She tapped her foot obviously waiting for an explanation. Cristina squirmed around in bed, trying to get Alex to release his grip. He didn't budge. Meredith continued to laugh. She was laughing so hard that tears were welling up in her eyes. She agreed with George. This was not something she ever expected to see. Not in a million years.

"Are you done?" Alex asked Cristina as she continued to squirm. She had finally stopped crying.

"I'm done!" She yelled back, "Let go of me, _evil spawn_!"

Meredith started to laugh even harder. Izzie's face softened as she understood what Alex was doing. She shot him a proud smile and crawled into bed with the rest of them. George was left standing at the end of the bed. It wasn't until Izzie signalled him to join them that he finally climbed in too.

"I love you guys," Izzie said, planting a kiss on Alex's cheek. Meredith figured that Izzie was mostly saying it to Alex but she loved them all too. As she looked at all her friends, Meredith felt at home for the first time in her entire life. She watched as Cristina crawled under the covers and slipped in next to Meredith so that she could be as far away from Alex as possible. Izzie lay against Alex's chest and shut her eyes. George was completely still and stared at the ceiling in silence. These were Meredith's best friends. In this moment, she realised she would never trade them for the world. They all lay in silence for a while longer until the sound of Meredith's phone ringing caused them all to sit up abruptly. They had gotten used to the silence. Meredith reached for her phone and stared at the caller ID. It was Derek. Her heartbeat started to get faster and the whole room started to spin. For the past two weeks Meredith had waited for his call. She had waited so long to hear his voice. Alex, Izzie, George and Cristina all watched on as Meredith continued to stare at the phone. She couldn't get herself to answer.

"Well?" Cristina raised an eyebrow. Her crying had stopped completely now. "Are you going to answer it?"

Meredith nodded slowly as she tapped her phone to answer. Her breathing was heavy as she waited for Derek to say something.

"Meredith?" The familiar voice said. His voice was shaky. "I need to see you. Can you meet me at the bar?"

Everyone in the bed looked at Meredith expectantly. They were all leaning in close to the phone so that they could hear what Derek was saying. Meredith stared at Cristina expectantly; half hoping she would be able to tell her what to do. Cristina just shrugged and raised her eyebrows in anticipation. After a long pause, Meredith finally responded. Her hands were shaking.

"I'll be there in 15." _Click._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** I know that this chapter was more focused on Meredith x Cristina x Alex x Izzie x George, but I really love exploring their friendship. This definitely won't be the end of exploring their relationships in this story - but I promise there will be more MerDer in the next chapter. :) So don't give up on this story yet! -Eevee


	10. Chapter 10: I Will Wait For You

Meredith tapped the steering wheel of her car nervously. She was on her way to the bar to meet Derek, after he had called her 10 minutes ago. Before she left the house, Meredith dragged Cristina into the bathroom.

"So what do you think he wants?" Meredith whispered, looking into the mirror. She gently placed a loose strand of her dirty blonde hair behind her ear. "He sounded… weird."

Cristina snorted. "When doesn't he sound weird?" When Meredith shot her a serious look, Cristina answered again, "Okay, sorry. I don't know, Mer. What is the deal with you and McDreamy now anyway?"

Meredith pondered on this for a moment as she continued to stare at her reflection. What _was_ the deal with her and McDreamy? Before he left for Washington, Meredith and Derek shared many awkward encounters. She slept with him not once… but twice. She shot him down after discovering he was her _teacher_. She had her heartbroken as she watched him and Addison make out through the window. So where did that leave them now?

"I don't know," Meredith said honestly, turning away from the mirror to face Cristina.

"Isn't he our teacher again for Anatomy 2 next semester?" Cristina asked, raising an eyebrow.

Meredith thought about this for a while. The biggest hurdle before Addison came along was the fact that Derek was her teacher. Meredith didn't want to be with someone who might cause people to think that she was getting help at school. She didn't want people thinking she was getting any special treatment. If Derek were going to be her teacher again next semester, would that mean that they still couldn't be together? Even if he did break up with Addison?

"Look, Mer," Cristina placed her hands on Meredith's shoulders and squeezed them. A serious smile spread across her lips. "Do you love McDreamy?"

"Yes," Meredith replied, without hesitation. She placed one of her hands against her mouth. She had never admitted her love for Derek out loud before. She hardly even admitted it to herself. "Yes, I love him." She said softly.

Cristina continued to smile. She squeezed Meredith's shoulders again, "Whatever happens then, make sure you remember that." Cristina gave Meredith one more smile before turning and leaving the bathroom.

Now Meredith was in her car, on her way to the bar. As she turned the last corner, the bar came into her sight. She drove slowly, searching for a park. From the corner of her eye, she saw Derek. His shoulders were slumped and his hair was messy; it didn't look as if he had brushed it today. Meredith watched on as Derek opened the door to the bar and walked in slowly. When the door closed behind him, Meredith continued to look for a park. Her heart was racing now. She had no idea what Derek needed to talk about. She hoped that he had discovered that Addison was a cheater and he was going to finally confess his love. But was that just wishful thinking?

Meredith finally found a park in a street near the bar. After one quick look in the mirror, she jumped out of the car and speed walked towards the bar. Before entering, Meredith tucked any loose strands of hair behind her ears and took a deep breath. She placed her hand on the door knob and turned it, opening the door. To her surprise, the bar wasn't crowded at all. There was a couple playing darts in the corner while a small group of guys played pool. Meredith's eyes eventually fell onto the bar where Derek was slumped over a glass of scotch. He was signalling the bartender for a refill. Hesitantly, Meredith made her way to the bar and took a seat next to him. Without even looking up at her, he spoke.

"You made it," He said, not sounding particularly happy about it. "Great."

"I made it," Meredith repeated, smiling. She called the bartender over. "Margarita, please."

Derek and Meredith sat in silence for a while, sipping their drinks. Derek had another scotch and Meredith had her margarita. She waited patiently, not wanting to push Derek into speaking, but she felt anything but patient. Meredith's brain was going wild. What did Derek call her for? What did he need to say? Had he broken up with Addison?

"I broke up with Addison," Derek said finally, as if he were reading Meredith's mind. He took another sip of his scotch. "Well, actually, she left me for my best friend."

Meredith figured the man from the bar the other night must've been Derek's best friend. She hadn't realised just how messed up Addison really was. Making out with her boyfriend's best friend? Who does that?

"And my sister… Amelia," Derek's voice was quiet now, shaky. "She… died. Last night. After Addison left me."

Meredith's eyes widened. Her face had lifted with the news that Derek and Addison had broken up, even though she wished Derek had been the one to end it. But the news about his sister? Meredith was not expecting that. She didn't know what to say. Her heart hurt for him. Tears streamed down his face, but he wiped them away before they had the chance to reach his chin. Derek inhaled deeply and shook his head furiously, as if he were fighting with himself internally. Meredith could barely breathe seeing him like this. Seeing him so destroyed.

"What can I do?" Meredith croaked. Her voice was dry, her throat tight. It took all her willpower not to cry. She knew that she had to be strong for him.

Derek wiped away his last tear as he placed his glass of scotch back on the table and turned to face Meredith. His blue eyes looked so empty. His face was exhausted, as if he had been awake all night. The bags under his eyes were a deep purple. Somehow, he was still the most beautiful person Meredith had ever seen. Without even thinking about it, Meredith lifted her free hand and caressed Derek's cheek. It was cold. After a moment, she felt Derek melt into her touch. His shoulders relaxed and he shut his eyes. They sat like that for a while. Derek kept his eyes shut and Meredith continued to caress his face. Anytime a tear began to fall out of his eyes, she would wipe it away. When Derek's eyes finally opened again, his shoulders tensed up and he pulled away from Meredith's touch. His gorgeous blue eyes looked empty again and he lifted his scotch glass to his mouth, taking a big sip.

"I need you to sleep with me." Derek murmured once he had finished his sip. His face was expressionless. He couldn't even look Meredith in the eyes.

"Derek…" Meredith whispered back, tilting her head slightly. "We should talk about this."

Derek placed his glass back onto the bar and let out an empty laugh, " _Talk_?" He scoffed, still not facing Meredith. "Talk about what? How my sister, the one person in this world I was supposed to protect, _died_?" A smile crept onto his lips. It didn't reflect even a hint of happiness. Somehow it reflected pain. Meredith's heart dropped as Derek opened his mouth to say more, "Or how about we discuss how my girlfriend, the one I got with to get over _you_ , left me for my best friend?"

Meredith's mouth dropped open. She bit her lip to fight back tears. Derek's face was still expressionless. He signalled the bartender over and ordered another scotch.

"Are you sure you should have another one?" Meredith asked cautiously. She was wary that Derek might break down at any minute. "Let me take you home."

Derek stood up, still holding his empty scotch glass. He looked down at Meredith, his face expressionless but his eyes reflecting sheer anger. Meredith stood up cautiously and looked back at him, honestly feeling quite scared. She had never seen Derek look so... furious. As they stood there, just looking at one another, the door to the bar opened. Meredith and Derek turned simultaneously, only to see Addison walk in with her arm linked with the tall, scruffy man from the other night.

" _No_ …" Meredith breathed, all of the colour draining from her face. She quickly turned back to face Derek, reaching out and grabbing his arm. She felt his entire body shaking and watched as he squeezed the glass in his hands angrily.

" _Mark_ ," He hissed, wiggling out of Meredith's grip. With the empty glass still in his hand, Derek made his way towards the door. Mark stood protectively in front of Addison as Meredith ran around her bar stool to stand in Derek's way.

"Don't do this," Meredith pleaded, grabbing Derek's shirt in her hands. She pulled him towards her and wrapped her arms around his waist. With her head against his chest, Meredith could feel his breathing. It was short and sharp, and his heart was beating fast. "Derek, you don't want to go near them. Not while you're like this."

"Don't tell me what to do!" Derek yelled, smashing his glass on the ground by Meredith's feet. She flinched as the glass shattered loudly next to her. It didn't take long for Derek to break out of Meredith's grip on his shirt and continue walking towards Mark and Addison. Meredith just stood there, shaking. Her eyes were shut and her heart was beating just as fast as Derek's was. She realised that in this moment she was scared of him. Terrified, even. The glass had been only a millimetre away from her foot. If he had thrown it at her foot, she would have been in a lot of pain and Meredith wasn't sure if he would even care or notice. As the tears began to fall from her face onto the floor, Meredith felt someone's hand on her back.

"Let's get out of here," Addison said softly, grabbing Meredith's arm and leading her out of the bar. From the corner of her eye, Meredith could see Derek and Mark in the corner of the bar. She watched as Derek punched Mark straight in the face. Meredith felt Addison flinch. When they finally reached the door, Meredith turned slightly to see Derek throwing another punch at Mark. Before she could see anymore, Addison pulled her out the door into the fresh air.

"Do you need a ride?" Addison asked once they had been standing outside for awhile, not sounding nearly as messed up as Meredith thought she should.

"How are you… okay right now?" Meredith spat back, turning away from Addison. "You're just going to let them fight in there?"

Addison let out a small sigh. "This is how they deal with things," She explained, her voice starting to tremble. She was barely able to keep herself from crying. "I know I messed up, Meredith. But it's more complicated than it seems."

"His sister is _dead_ ," Meredith cried out, facing her again. "How is that complicated?" Meredith's voice was cold and tears were beginning to fall out of her eyes at a fast pace. Addison walked towards Meredith and placed her hands on her face, wiping the tears away before they could fall to the ground.

"Meredith. I _know_." Addison was crying now too. Her hands were shaking on Meredith's face. "His sister was my _friend_. She was Mark's ex. We all lost someone special to us." She let out a small cry. "Derek has lost something that he will never… _ever_ be able to replace. He's going to have a void in his heart for the rest of his life. Tonight, he needs to take it out on someone. If that means letting him and Mark fight it out, then that's what we're going to do."

Meredith nodded her head slightly and dropped her gaze to the floor. She didn't know that Amelia, Derek's sister, was Addison's friend too. She realised she didn't understand any of this.

"I don't know him at all, do I?" Meredith whimpered, looking up at Addison expectantly.

Addison wiped her own tears away and smiled warmly at Meredith, "No. You don't. But… you will. He really cares for you, Meredith Grey. He cares for you in a way that he could never care for me. That's why I cheated on him. He was never going to love me. Not like he loves you." She smiled sadly before continuing, "But he's not going to get over this anytime soon, so you're going to have to wait for him. When he's ready for you, you will have to be there or it will never work between you two."

"I'll wait," Meredith responded hurriedly, wiping away the last tear escaping from her eyes. "I'll wait forever if I have to."

And she would. Meredith knew in that moment that she would wait however long it took for Derek to be ready for her. Even if that meant she would be waiting for the rest of her life.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** This chapter was supposed to be happy, but as I was writing... it felt right to create another hurdle for MerDer to cross. The thing I love most about Grey's Anatomy is that Meredith & Derek went through SO much, but each time they managed to come out stronger... even when it seemed like they were over. I want to explore that dynamic in this story. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I definitely had a good time writing it.

The next chapter will have a time jump I think, though. So don't worry. You guys won't be waiting long for another sweet MerDer moment :) I'm not THAT horrible. Xoxo - Eevee


	11. Chapter 11: McReunion

_Six months later._

January in Seattle was Meredith's favourite. She loved the cold more than she loved the heat, or even the warmth. It wasn't so much to do with the temperatures, however, but more with the memories she associated with the cold.

When Meredith was young, about six years old, her father and her mother were still together. They were surprisingly happy. Thatcher, her father, would take Meredith on long walks in the cold January air. He preferred walking in the winter when there weren't many people around. The town was an overall grey colour and the sky was covered in clouds. At the age of six, Meredith's mother would still come along with them on their walks. They would find a park to walk in. Thatcher would educate Meredith on all of his favourite trees while her mother, Ellis, would roll her eyes and walk a step behind them. These were the happiest memories that Meredith had with her parents. Once she hit the age of seven, Ellis stopped joining them on their walks. Instead, she would stay late at work and sometimes not come home for days. Meredith's father would continue to go on his walks, but Meredith could see the sadness in his eyes. He stopped talking about trees and would prefer to walk in silence. When she turned eight, on her birthday, Meredith walked in on her father and mother fighting. It was the first time that Meredith had seen her mother in _weeks_. Thatcher would tell Meredith that her mother was too busy saving the world as a world-class surgeon at Seattle Grace Hospital. He tried to sound proud, but Meredith could hear the hurt in his voice. He missed his wife. Meredith missed her mother.

"Do you even miss us?" Thatcher yelled bitterly as an eight year old Meredith hid behind the door, looking through the gap. His words were slightly slurred. "I'm not sure if you've forgotten, Ellis, but you have a family at home too!"

Meredith watched as Ellis laughed. Her face wasn't the gentle expression that she was used to seeing. Instead, her mother looked tired and angry. She looked so out of place standing in her small kitchen with her husband.

" _Family?_ " Ellis scoffed, placing a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "You mean a daughter I never wanted and my alcoholic husband?"

The words hit Meredith like a tonne of bricks. _The daughter I never wanted_. Not being able to help it, Meredith let out a small cry. Both her parents turned to face her simultaneously. Thatcher's angry expression drained away and was replaced with guilt as he quickly made his way over to Meredith. Her mother, on the other hand, remained where she was. She no longer looked angry. Meredith half expected her to look as guilty as her father was, but instead Ellis looked… _relieved._

"Are you happy now, Ellis?" Thatcher spat, narrowing his eyes at his wife. Turning to Meredith, he smiled, "Your mother didn't mean it, Mer. She's just tired. She had a long week at work, okay?" His breath smelt like scotch.

Meredith nodded her head slightly, but from the corner of her eye she saw her mother roll her eyes. She wasn't an idiot. Meredith knew that her mother meant every word, but she wanted to make her father happy. He gently patted her on the head before instructing her to go to her room. As Meredith made her way up the stairs, she heard her parents burst into another fight. It was so loud; she was surprised she even managed to get to sleep that night.

"Hey, Mer," A muffled voice interrupted Meredith's memory. Her old bedroom faded away as a new one appeared before her eyes. Her view was blurry for a moment before Cristina's face came into view. "You okay?" She raised an eyebrow.

Meredith looked around her room, slowly waking up. For a split second, she felt as if she were still in her eight year old self's bedroom, but Cristina falling onto her bed snapped her back to reality.

"I heard you crying," Cristina said softly, sounding concerned. She flipped onto her side and propped her elbow up. "Bad dream?"

"Yeah," Meredith responded, rubbing her eyes. "You could say that."

They both lay in silence for a while. Meredith turned her head slightly to look at her clock. It was 7:00AM. It took Meredith a second to realise what day it was. It was the first day of her second year of University.

"Shit," Meredith cursed, quickly climbing out of bed. She looked back at Cristina and noticed that she was already dressed and looked as if she had just showered. "Why didn't you wake me up sooner? Now I've only got 15 minutes to get ready!"

Cristina shrugged and crawled out of bed, "I'm not your mother."

Meredith shot her an annoyed look and signalled for her to leave so that she could get changed. All of Meredith's clothes were hanging up in her closet. None of them looked particularly appealing. She only had a few pairs of jeans and some pastel coloured tees. She had a number of jackets, but they were all her mother's hand-me-downs. The thought of her mother caused her to shudder, especially after the dream she just had. The "dream" that was more of a flashback than an actual dream. Meredith shut her closet doors and fell onto her bed. She had no idea what to wear. When she turned her head again, she saw the time from the corner of her eye. 7:05AM. Meredith now had 10 minutes to finish getting ready. Without taking the time to think about it, she grabbed a pair of skinny jeans from her wardrobe, a plain black shirt and one of her mother's leather jackets. On the bottom of her wardrobe were her favourite converse shoes. She smiled down at them momentarily before putting them on. At 7:15AM on the dot, after putting on some light make up and doing her hair, Meredith was finally ready to go to University. Cristina, George and Izzie were all in the kitchen waiting when Meredith walked in. They all exchanged brief morning greetings before climbing into Meredith's car. They were all ready for their first day of second year.

* * *

"What's your first class, Mer?" Izzie chirped, looking down at her own timetable. It had only taken them about a half hour to get to University from their house. "I have Chemistry II."

Meredith pulled her timetable out of her jean pocket and had a look. When she saw the class, her heart stopped. "Anatomy II…" She breathed. Cristina, George and Izzie all stopped in their tracks to look at Meredith. Without having to say it, they all knew why Meredith was shaking. Anatomy II was supposed to be Derek's class… and Meredith hadn't seen him for at least three months now, after hearing the news about his sister Amelia. Not wasting any time, and without even saying goodbye to Meredith, Derek had moved back to Washington to be with his family.

"I have Anatomy now too," Cristina said, linking her arm with Meredith's. She smiled up at her sympathetically.

After the night that Derek had opened up to Meredith about his break up with Addison and his sister's death, Meredith had driven home a complete mess. She cried the whole way home and it took all of her will power not to scream. When she had finally gotten home, instead of going to her room, Meredith crept into Cristina's bed and curled up into a ball next to her. To her surprise, Cristina was still awake. Her own face was stained with tears.

"Why are you crying?" Cristina had said, wiping her own tears away.

Meredith explained all the drama that unfolded at the bar with Derek, Addison and Mark. Cristina's mouth had dropped wide open and she had placed a reassuring hand on Meredith's shoulder.

"Why are _you_ crying?" Meredith questioned, once she had finished her story. It took Cristina a moment to respond. Her bottom lip trembled, but she bit it to stop herself from crying.

"Owen… divorced his wife." Cristina explained, watching as Meredith's mouth dropped open. "He divorced her… to be with me."

The two girls spent the rest of the night talking about Derek… then about Owen, then about themselves. There were tears, laughs and lots of sighs. Surprisingly, Meredith actually felt better after opening up to Cristina. She was happy to have her best friend around.

"We're here." Cristina announced, snapping Meredith back to reality. Without even realising it, Meredith and Cristina had already reached their classroom for Anatomy II. Meredith stared at the doorknob and then back at Cristina.

"Shall we?" Cristina asked, placing her hand on the doorknob. Before Meredith could respond, she opened the door and made her way in. As Meredith stepped past the door and scanned the room, she felt herself let out a loud gasp. All eyes from around the room were on her, including Cristina's. From the corner of her eye, Meredith saw a small smile creep across Cristina's face as she found a table to sit at in the corner of the room. At the front of the room, there was a tall man with thick black hair and piercing blue eyes. He stood in silence as he stared at Meredith, a small smile slowly spreading across his face. Meredith stared back, her mouth hanging slightly open. Her heart rate had picked up dramatically as she felt herself dropping everything she was holding.

" _Meredith_ ," The man breathed. He flashed Meredith a familiar, charming smile that made her knees feel weak.

"Derek?" She responded, her voice shaking. Meredith couldn't believe her eyes. There, at the front of the classroom, was Derek Shepherd. The love of her life. Meredith had assumed that someone else would be taking his class while he lived in Washington. But apparently he had moved back.

"It's so nice to see you." Derek said honestly, taking a few cautious steps towards Meredith. Everyone in the classroom started whispering. Cristina shushed them all and watched on with a huge smile on her face. Usually Meredith hated having everyone look at her, but in this moment she couldn't care less. All she cared about was Derek. He was here. He was standing only a few steps away from her. She could smell his familiar cologne. She could feel the warmth radiating off of his body. Without waiting any longer, Meredith dumped her bag on the floor and took the last couple of steps towards Derek. She wrapped her small arms around his neck and felt one of his bigger, muscular arms around her shoulders and another around her waist.

"You're here!" Meredith cried out happily, burying her face into his neck. She could feel his heart racing. She could feel his warm breath against her hair. It sent tingles all down her spine.

"I'm here," Derek whispered into her hair. After embracing Meredith for a minute longer, he finally pulled away and placed his big hands against her face. He wiped away the tears welling up in Meredith's eyes with his thumbs. Derek was smiling so hard that his cheeks started to hurt, but he had never felt so happy to see someone in his life. Leaning down slightly, Derek planted a small kiss on Meredith's nose, causing her to blush slightly. Her cheeks started to feel warm and they became a beautiful subtle red colour. They stood in silence for a while. Derek kept his hands on Meredith's face and couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Meredith stared back too. The room around her became irrelevant. All she could see was Derek Shepherd, the love of her life. She breathed in deeply, taking in his familiar scent.

"I'm finally home," Derek said, planting a kiss on Meredith's left cheek and then her right. "I'm finally _home_." He repeated.

Meredith smiled excitedly like a school girl. Happy tears were welling up in her eyes. The room around her was spinning. "You came back to me!" She exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Derek's neck again. "Please don't ever leave me again."

"I won't." He replied softly, kissing her hair. "I promise I will _never_ leave you again."

And in that moment, Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd truly were home. Their home... was in each other's arms.


	12. Chapter 12: California Here We Come

Derek coming home was the greatest thing that had ever happened to Meredith. Soon after their reunion, a couple of weeks later, Derek moved in. He had been living with Mark during his first few weeks back in Seattle as he had sold his previous house when he packed up and moved to Washington D.C. But after spending only a couple of weeks together with Meredith, they decided to move in together. They were spending all the time they could together already, so why shouldn't they just live together?

Meredith felt like she was in heaven. She had her four amazing best friends: Cristina, Izzie, George and Alex. She was finishing her second year of her pre-medical degree with all high distinctions. Most of all, she was in a happy relationship with the love of her life, Derek Shepherd. There was honestly nothing that Meredith felt she was missing in her life.

That was until her phone rang at 10:00PM, while she and Derek were playing around in bed. Derek was on top of Meredith, kissing her ears gently, then her neck and all down her chest and stomach. When her phone rang, Meredith let out a disappointed groan and pushed Derek off of her.

"Hey!" He protested, trying to crawl back on top of his girlfriend. Meredith giggled but crawled out of bed, throwing a pillow in Derek's face.

"I have to find my phone!" She giggled again as Derek groaned impatiently and rolled onto his back. Her phone had stopped ringing now, but a split second later it started again. Meredith focused on the sound until she finally found her phone under the bed. It must've fallen off as she and Derek were playing around on the bed.

"Hello?" Meredith answered, lifting her phone to her ear.

There was a pause on the other end of the line. Derek shot Meredith a puzzled look that said: _who is it?_ Meredith shrugged. Whoever called still wasn't speaking.

"Hello?" Meredith repeated. "This is Meredith Grey."

"M-Meredith," An unfamiliar voice stammered. Their breathing was short and sharp, just like Derek's had been when he opened up to Meredith about his sister's death. "My name is Lexie…"

Meredith raised an eyebrow. She didn't know anyone called Lexie. "Yes? Can I help you, Lexie?"

"U-um," The girl stuttered. There were sniffling noises coming from her end. "I'm Lexie… _Grey._ Thatcher Grey is… my father. He's _our_ father."

Meredith's breathing stopped momentarily. She hadn't heard her anyone say Thatcher's name in over ten years. Not since he had left Meredith and her mother all those years ago. Thatcher had tried to reach out to Meredith countless times, but she had felt so betrayed and abandoned. Not only had Thatcher left Meredith, but he left her with a mother who never even wanted her in the first place. It didn't surprise Meredith at all that Thatcher had a new family. She figured after he left that he would easily charm his way into another woman's heart. But why was his new daughter calling Meredith? What did she want?

"What about him?" Meredith snapped angrily. Derek sat up in the bed and shot her a concerned glance. _Are you okay?_ He mouthed. Meredith nodded slowly. But she wasn't so sure.

"He's…" Meredith could hear Lexie's voice tremble. It sounded like she was fighting back tears. "Our dad is dead." She paused. "I'm so sorry, Meredith."

Meredith stared blankly at the wall in front of her. She had recently decorated it with photo frames. The first photo was a group shot of Meredith, Cristina, Izzie, Alex and George on their last day of their first year of University. It was taken on campus by one of the girls in their anatomy class. Izzie had her arms around Alex and George, while Meredith and Cristina stood in front of them poking their tongues out. They all looked so happy and relaxed. The next picture was a Polaroid of Meredith and Cristina. They were at the on campus bar about to do a shot of tequila. George had taken the photo saying that this was their "natural habitat". Meredith remembered laughing straight after the photo was taken. The last photo was Meredith's personal favourite. It was a photo Cristina had taken on her phone during her reunion with Derek. The quality wasn't great, but the picture spoke a thousand words. They both had their arms around each other and were just staring into each other's eyes. Derek was caressing Meredith's hair as he looked down at her as if she were the only person in the entire world. Meredith smiled to herself as she looked at the photo in silence. She forgot for a moment that she was even on the phone with Lexie.

"He's still in the hospital here in LA," Lexie said suddenly, taking a deep breath. "W-we're still deciding if we should donate his organs. We would really love it if you would come and see him. I… I know he would've wanted that."

Meredith turned away from the wall and faced Derek. He was sitting up straight now with a serious look on his face. Meredith bit her lip and looked at the ground.

"Go to California?" She whispered, her eyes glued to the floor. "I don't have the money for a plane ticket."

"We'll pay," Lexie responded quickly. "We actually have a ticket for you already. There's a flight leaving at 2AM tonight. If you want to take it, that is."

"What's going on?" Derek asked curiously, climbing out of bed. He made his way over to Meredith and raised an eyebrow at her. Meredith stared back in silence. Her head was spinning. _California_? Meredith knew that her father had moved away, she just never pictured him in such a sunny place like California. He loved the cold, just like Meredith did. At least… that's what she remembered. Had her father really changed that much in ten years?

"Meredith, I have to go." Lexie whispered, her voice still trembling. "I really hope you take that flight." _Click._ The call ended.

Derek stood before Meredith. He examined her face in an attempt to find out how she was feeling. But Meredith's face was blank. It reflected no emotion at all. Derek watched as Meredith walked back to her bed and sank into the sheets. She was completely silent. After a moment, Derek crawled back into bed with her and planted kisses all over her face. When she didn't kiss back, he stopped.

"Who was on the phone, Meredith?" He asked impatiently.

"It was my _sister_." Meredith replied. She said the word 'sister' bitterly.

"You have a sister?" Derek's lips were pursed. "What did she want?"

Meredith inhaled deeply and then exhaled. Her eyes fell upon the picture of her and Derek on her wall again and then she looked back up at real life Derek. The one who was lying next to her on the bed. He was so close that she could feel his breath against her face.

"She was calling to tell me that…" Meredith paused. She felt a lump building up in her throat. "My dad is dead."

Derek's mouth dropped open in disbelief and then it closed again. He quickly wrapped his arms around Meredith and pulled her into his chest.

"What can I do?" He kissed her hair.

"I'm flying to California tonight," Meredith said, resting her head against his chest. "I need you there with me." She let out a small cry. The realisation that her father was actually dead started to feel real. She shook the feeling away and closed her eyes.

"Oh Meredith…" Derek kissed her forehead and her closed eyes softly, "I'll be there."

And he meant it.

After waking up Cristina and explaining to her what was happening, Meredith and Derek packed their bags and made their way to the airport. Derek purchased his ticket there while Meredith collected the one that had already been purchased for her by her father's new family. At 2:00AM on the dot, the plane left the Seattle airport and Derek and Meredith were well on their way to California. Together.


	13. Chapter 13: This Is Forever

The flight from Seattle to California was only about 2 hours and 40 minutes. 160 minutes in total. But to Meredith it felt like forever. One memory kept playing over and over in her mind. The last time she had been on a plane she was with her mother, Ellis. It was 4:00 in the morning, a little over five years ago. Meredith was only 14 years old.

"I don't want to leave, Mom," Meredith pleaded, tears welling up in her eyes. "All of my friends are here."

"You'll make new ones." Ellis replied, not making eye contact. She handed her boarding pass to the attendant. Meredith hesitantly did the same, flinching when she heard the scanner beep. The attendant smiled warmly at Meredith.

"Have a safe flight," She said, moving on to the next passenger.

Meredith and Ellis were on a flight from Colorado, where they had been living after Thatcher had left them, to Seattle. The decision to move had come out of nowhere. One second Ellis was happily working at a hospital in Colorado, saving lives a day at a time, until one day she announced that she was moving back to Seattle and Meredith was coming with her. There were no signs or hints as to what made Ellis want to move, and no matter how much Meredith protested, they were still leaving.

Meredith cried the entire flight from Colorado to Seattle. Her mother said nothing. She didn't reach out to Meredith or ask if she was okay. All Ellis did was stare at the chair in front of her in complete silence.

Meredith was doing the exact same thing now. Her eye lids fluttered slightly as she looked at the chair in front of her. Derek was next to her. He had earphones in and was listening to the inflight radio. It was still dark outside and Meredith thought she saw lighting far off in the distance. The cabin was relatively quiet. As it was still early in the morning, the lights were dimmed and the majority of the passengers were sleeping. Meredith couldn't sleep. Her mind was racing. Lexie's voice, a voice she had never wanted to hear, rang in her ears. _Our father is dead._ A part of Meredith still couldn't believe it. Thatcher, the man she hadn't seen in over ten years, was gone. Forever. Even though Meredith had never wanted to see him again after what happened, it felt odd knowing that now she would never have the opportunity to.

The whole plane shook as there was some light turbulence. Meredith flinched and instinctively reached out and grabbed Derek's hand. He turned to face her and flashed a reassuring smile, squeezing her hand tight. Meredith's heart fluttered and her stomach did a forward flip. She had been with Derek for a couple of weeks now but they had never really held hands or sat together like they were now. Meredith was always so busy with her school work and Derek was busy finishing off his last year of his medicine degree and working as a tutor. They never really had the time to do simple things like hold hands.

"What are you listening to?" Meredith asked curiously, turning to face Derek. When he didn't respond at first, she gently removed one of his earphones to get his attention.

"What are you listening to?" She repeated.

"Oh," He let out a small laugh. "The inflight radio station is interviewing some famous singers. I don't know any of them, but it's quite funny." Derek squeezed Meredith's hand again. "How are you doing?"

Meredith sighed. How _was_ she doing? She had no idea. The same memory of being on the plane with Ellis kept playing over and over in her head. She also kept thinking about what Thatcher must look like in his hospital bed right now. It had been over ten years since she had seen him last. Would he have grey hair now? Wrinkles?

"I'm…" Meredith closed her eyes. "I'm okay." It wasn't a lie. Meredith was okay. This whole situation was confusing and painful, but Thatcher hadn't been her dad in such a long time. Up until earlier this morning, she didn't even know if she would see him again. It was sad, sure, but Thatcher had left her after all. Maybe she had to see him before she could actually feel anything.

TMost of the flight was spent in silence. Meredith stared out the window while Derek continued listening to the radio, occasionally laughing. He never let go of Meredith's hand. Every so often he would give her a squeeze, as if to remind her that he was still there and he wasn't going anywhere. After another hour, the pilot announced that it was time to land and all of the flight attendants prepared the cabin. Derek removed his earphones and turned to face Meredith. He flashed his trademark smile and lifted her hand up to his lips, kissing it gently. It sent shivers through her spine.

"I love you, Meredith Grey." Derek whispered. There was a subtle twinkle in his blue eyes. "I have loved you from the minute I laid eyes on you."

Meredith felt tears welling up in her eyes. She knew that Derek loved her and that she loved Derek, but neither of them had said it out loud before. They had expressed it with kisses, hugs and long stares but they had never said those three words out loud.

"Hey…" Meredith giggled, her face turning read. "I wanted to say it first!"

Derek leaned in and brushed his nose against Meredith's. His blue eyes were filling with tears too. As the plane finally hit the ground, a tear trickled down Meredith's face. She had a huge smile spread across her face.

"I love you too, Derek Shepherd."

Despite everything that was happening, Derek somehow managed to keep Meredith smiling.

* * *

As soon as Meredith and Derek landed in LA, they found a taxi and made their way over to the hotel. They picked one that was close to the hospital. Once they had checked-in, put their bags away and freshened up quickly, the two of them left for the hospital. Lexie Grey and her mother Susan Grey greeted them on the first floor of the hospital. Both of them had tear stains all over their pale faces. Meredith was surprised when they approached her. She didn't think they would know what she looked like, but Thatcher's wife Susan recognised her straight away and embraced her in a tight hug.

"Oh Meredith…" She sighed, squeezing Meredith tight. "I am so sorry we had to meet like this."

Derek watched on as Meredith stood limp. She didn't hug Susan back. This was the woman who Thatcher picked over Meredith and Ellis. Instead of coming back to his ex-wife or his first daughter, he decided to stay with this woman and their daughter, Lexie. He picked them instead of Meredith. Lexie was the next one to hug Meredith. She was a little bit taller than Meredith and had dark brown hair. There was hardly any resemblance between the two of them. Meredith was blonde and her features were much sharper, like her mother's. Lexie, on the other hand, was a brunette and her features were soft. She had dark blue eyes that sometimes appeared green. Meredith's eyes were an icy blue, another feature she inherited from her mother.

"It's lovely to meet you two," Derek said, pulling out his hand. He felt the tension in the air and watched on awkwardly as Meredith still wouldn't hug Lexie back. "I'm Derek Shepherd. I'm Meredith's boyfriend."

Meredith's heart skipped a beat when he used the word 'boyfriend'. It felt nice to hear him refer to himself as that. It still felt surreal knowing that Derek Shepherd was her _boyfriend._ Susan shook Derek's hand and then Lexie did. They both smiled gratefully at Derek, showing their appreciation of his presence. They most likely smiled at Meredith too, but she couldn't make any eye contact with either of them. After a few more awkward silences, the four of them all made their way to Thatcher's room.

"So, Meredith," Susan's voice was soft, as if she were picking her next few words carefully, "We want to donate Thatcher's organs, but we didn't want to sign the papers until we had your consent too."

Meredith nodded her head slightly, but didn't speak. This whole situation still felt so surreal. She was really here in LA, with her half-sister, her father's new wife and her handsome boyfriend. This was happening. When they reached the room, Lexie and Susan's faces dropped and Meredith watched as they both bit their lip to fight back tears. They both still looked so exhausted. They must've been holding it together for Meredith's sake. For a split moment, Meredith felt grateful that they would be so considerate of her feelings.

"He's in there," Lexie whispered sadly, gesturing to the door. "I can come in with you, if you want."

Meredith shook her head and turned to face Derek. "I want Derek in there with me. He's my family."

Lexie looked hurt, but she nodded. Susan smiled sadly. Derek shot them both an apologetic look before reaching his hand out towards Meredith. She took it without missing a beat and gave him a light squeeze. When Derek smiled down at her reassuringly, she took a deep breath and walked into the room. Meredith's mouth dropped open as her eyes fell onto her father's limp body. He had a machine hooked up to him that hummed quietly. The room was silent aside from the sound of Meredith and Derek's breathing. In silence, Meredith walked slowly towards the bed and examined Thatcher's body. His face looked the same as it had before he left with just a few more wrinkles. His hairstyle hadn't changed a bit, but there were a few more grey hairs. Derek squeezed Meredith's hand as he watched her gently touch her father's face.

"Hey Dad," Meredith's voice had finally broken. Seeing Thatcher look pretty much the same as he had ten years ago overwhelmed her. All the ill feelings she had towards him disappeared and all at once she felt like she was eight years old again. It was as if he had never left Meredith with Ellis. "Hey Dad, it's me. It's Meredith. I'm here." Meredith grabbed her father's hand and gave it a light squeeze. Tears started streaming down her face. She didn't know what else to say. What else was there to say? Her dad was dead. It wasn't like he could hear her anyway. Meredith looked up at Derek expectantly, hoping he would tell her what to say. To her surprise, Derek started speaking to her father for himself.

"Hello Mr. Grey," He began, smiling proudly. He squeezed Meredith's hand and flashed her a smile. "I'm Derek Shepherd. I've been seeing your daughter now for a couple of weeks, but I've been in love with her since I first laid eyes on her. We didn't start off perfectly. Hell, we were dysfunctional from the start. I made some horrible mistakes. We both did. But eventually we found our way back to each other." Derek turned to face Meredith and gave her a wink before turning back to Thatcher. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I'm going to ask your daughter to marry me. She's one of a kind. Extraordinary. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever met, inside and out. She makes me a better person and all I want to do is spend the rest of my life loving her."

Meredith felt her mouth hanging open. She was dumbfounded. This was not what she was expecting at all. Derek was looking at her again now, his face expressing a deep love and admiration that Meredith had never seen before. Her mother had never looked at her like that and if her dad had, she was too young to remember it. Meredith watched on as Derek fell to one knee and pulled a black, velvet box out of his shirt pocket.

"I was going to propose to you as soon as I got back to Seattle," Derek explained. He had tears in his eyes now. "But it never seemed like the right moment. I wanted it to be perfect. But then I realised, our relationship isn't perfect. It was never perfect. We were messy from day one." Derek let out a small laugh. His voice was shaking. "That's when I realised there was never going to be one _perfect_ moment for us. Every moment that I spend with you is perfect in its own way. Good or bad."

"Derek…" Meredith had tears streaming out of both eyes. Her heart was beating so hard against her chest. She had sweat building up in her palms. Was this really happening?

"Let me finish," He said softly, opening the box. Inside was the most beautiful ring Meredith had ever seen in her life. "I have loved you from day one. And I will love you until I take my last breath on this earth." A waterfall of tears fell from his face to the floor. "Meredith Grey… will you let me love you for the rest of my life?" He paused. "Will you… _marry me_?"

Meredith was overwhelmed with emotion. Her eyes flickered from Thatcher's limp body back to Derek kneeling down on one knee. From the corner of her eye, Meredith could see Susan and Lexie peering through the window. They both had big smiles spread across their faces as they watched on in anticipation. As she shut her eyes, Meredith felt as if she were transported back in time. One minute she was standing in Thatcher's hospital room, with Derek on one knee, and the next she was in a park on a cold January morning. Meredith was surrounded by trees blowing in the cold air. There were a couple of people walking their dogs and talking loudly. They all wore big jackets and beanies. Suddenly, Thatcher was kneeling down in front of a much younger Meredith, embracing her tightly. He had a serious expression spread across his face.

"What is it, daddy?" Meredith's voice sounded so innocent and high-pitched. She wasn't much older than six. Her long, dirty blond hair blew in the wind under her pastel pink beanie.

"I want you to promise me something, Mer." Thatcher said seriously, placing his two hands on Meredith's shoulders. His face was hard. "When you are old enough to get married, promise me that you will marry someone who you love and who loves you. Someone who will protect you, laughs with you, cries with you and can be honest with you when they need to be. Don't settle. Don't let yourself marry anyone who makes you feel ordinary." Thatcher broke out into a proud smile. "You are an extraordinary little girl, Meredith Grey. You deserve to feel extraordinary."

Meredith's eyes suddenly opened again. She was no longer in the park with Thatcher. She was back in Thatcher's room, where his limp body lay still in a hospital bed. Meredith reached out and grabbed Thatcher's hand again. "I promise, daddy." She whispered under her breath.

Meredith's whole body was shaking as she turned back to Derek. He was still down on one knee, looking up at Meredith expectantly. He looked so vulnerable down there. Letting go of her father's hand and taking a deep breath, Meredith sunk down onto her knees and placed her hands on Derek's face. She felt his whole body shake in response to her touch. A huge smile spread across her face as the tears continued to fall.

"Yes," Meredith whispered softly, looking Derek straight in the eyes. "Yes, I will marry you."

* * *

 **AN:** This chapter was a complete surprise to me! When I was writing it, I hadn't planned for Derek to propose... but it just kind of happened. ANd once it started, it just felt right to continue. I know there a few loose ends in this chapter that I need to address - will Thatcher's organs be donated? What's the deal with all the Ellis flashbacks? etc. Don't worrry! They will all be addressed in the upcoming chapters.

As for those of you who keep asking about the Janet Shepherd building, that will be answered soon too! Thanks for reading guys! Please leave reviews, share, and follow :)


	14. Chapter 14: McFamily

**AN:** One of you asked for some more information on Amelia's death, so luckily I had a Derek chapter planned! I thought it would be good to do it here, so we can understand the proposal a bit more, it wasn't just an impulsive proposal – and we get to know Derek's family a bit more! Also keep in mind that this whole chapter is in the past in regards to the previous chapter. So this all already happened before the proposal and before the events in the last chapter. Next chapter will be back to normal and will be following on from the proposal :)

Hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

 _Three months earlier._

Derek woke up with a throbbing head and bruises all over his face. Small beams of light shone through his blinds, brightening the room up a little bit. For a split second, Derek didn't know where he was. When his eyes finally adjusted, Derek realised he was on the couch in his lounge room.

"How did I get here?" Derek asked himself out loud, standing up slowly. His last memory was sitting at the bar with Meredith and seeing Addison and Mark walk in. After that, everything is too fuzzy to remember. Derek's whole body was sore. He found it difficult to even walk from the couch to the kitchen. When he finally got there, Derek opened up one of his cupboards and found a glass to fill up with water. For a few minutes, all he did was stand in his kitchen and drink water, refilling his cup whenever it was empty. If it weren't for his phone going off, he probably would have been in there for a while.

Derek stared at the caller ID on his phone screen. It was Mark. A rush of anger flowed through Derek as he stared. Mark was his old best friend who not only slept with his younger sister but now stole his girlfriend, Addison. All of Derek's memories from two nights ago came rushing back. Addison had left him. His younger sister, Amelia, had died. Derek felt his heart breaking in his chest again as he fell onto his bed. He had missed Mark's first call, but now his phone was going off again. The sound of his phone angered him, so Derek threw it across the room. Just as the phone hit the wall and made a huge noise, there was a knock at the door.

"I'm coming!" Derek yelled out, quickly finding a shirt to put on. He contemplated putting on pants over his boxers, but that would require effort. Whoever was at the door would have to deal with him in his boxers. A small part of him, in the back of his mind, hoped it was Meredith knocking.

Derek placed his face against the door, looking through the peephole. To his surprise, and slight disappointment, he found himself staring at Mark and Addison. They both stood an awkward distance from each other, but Derek could tell they wanted to be closer. Were they standing apart for his benefit?

"Derek," Addison was leaning against the door now. She sounded desperate. "Let us in, please."

"Yeah, come on Derek," Mark joined in, placing his hands on his hips. Derek noted the bruises and scratches he had all over his face and arms. "I let you beat me up last night. You should _at least_ invite me in for coffee in return!"

Derek watched as Addison nudged Mark in the side, causing him to flinch and yell out in pain. He must have had bruises there as well. When Derek didn't say anything for a while, the two of them finally turned to leave. To their surprise, the door suddenly opened. Still not saying anything, Derek stood aside from the doorway and gestured for the two of them to come in.

Derek, Mark and Addison all sat awkwardly in the lounge room for at least thirty minutes. The only exchange they shared was Mark complimenting Derek's face. Derek didn't reply; he only rolled his eyes. He did notice, however, that Mark and Addison sat apart on the couch. The space between them was big enough for another person to sit in.

"So what, did you two break up or something?" Derek asked bitterly, not making eye contact with either of them. "And you came here to tell me in person? To cheer me up?"

Addison was awkwardly twiddling her thumbs. "Not exactly," She said quietly, looking sideways at Mark. When Derek said no more, she spoke again. "We're here to talk to you about Amelia."

Derek's heart stopped. _Amelia_. His sister was dead. Every few seconds he would forget, until someone or something would remind him.

"Your mom wants you to move back home to Washington for a while," Addison explained, staring directly at Derek. She had a sympathetic smile spread across her face. "All your other sisters are there already."

"They think it'll be good for everyone to be together," Mark commented, his voice serious. "They've already paid for your tickets. They want you on the 6PM flight tonight."

Derek snorted. Move back home? He hadn't lived with his mother in years. He hadn't even seen any of his sisters for at least two years, before Amelia died. Why would he want to move back? Addison and Mark exchanged guilty glances before turning to face Derek square on. They both looked straight into his eyes. For the first time since they had arrived, Derek actually turned to look at them both in the eyes too. He tried to read their expressions. They both looked… pained and guilty. As if they had a secret they didn't want to share.

"Your mother is sick, Derek…" Addison whimpered, reaching out for his hand. Derek didn't take it. He just stared at it in disbelief.

"What? No…" Derek responded, laughing. He stood up from his chair. "I saw her when I was in Washington visiting Amelia in the hospital… before she died… She was fine!"

Mark grabbed the hand that Addison had reached out for Derek. He squeezed her small hand and watched as tears welled up in her eyes. Mark had his own tears beginning to form. They watched as Derek paced the lounge room, a look of disbelief spread across his face.

"She didn't want to tell you then," Mark whispered, his gaze on the floor. "You had enough to deal with already with Amelia."

After pacing the room for a while, Derek finally sat back in his chair. His head was spinning. First, his sister dies. Now his mother is sick? When was something good going to happen to him? Derek's head fell into his hands as he broke down. His whole body was shaking as the tears fell out of his eyes. Addison got onto the floor and crawled over to him. She reached out and grabbed his hands. She was crying now too. Mark watched on and tried to hide the tears that were falling out of his own eyes. Despite everything that the three of them had been through in the past couple of weeks, they were all still best friends. They had known each other too long not to care about each other just because of the mess they were in.

"I guess I'm going to Washington," Derek said slowly, squeezing Addison's hands. He smiled at her gratefully before pulling away. "What am I going to do about this place?"

"I can look after it for a while," Mark offered, patting Derek on the back. "And I can help you sell it, if it comes to that."

Derek nodded gratefully and pulled the two of them in for a hug. Derek had been hurt about the whole situation with Addison and Mark, but he knew he was just as much to blame as they were. They had all been childhood friends. Addison's parents and Derek's parents were best friends. They always pushed the two of them together. When Meredith rejected Derek, not once but twice, he decided to get her back by getting with Addison. A part of Derek hoped he could actually love Addison more than a friend, but it never happened. He couldn't stop thinking about Meredith and the nights they shared. Addison found solace in Mark and they actually fell in love. Deep down, Derek was happy for them.

"We'll help you pack." Addison smiled, breaking Derek out of his thoughts. He smiled back at her and signalled for them to follow him into his room.

At no time at all, Derek was on the plane to Washington where he would live for the next three months.

The three months that Derek spent in Washington were the longest three months of his life. When he initially arrived in his old family home in Washington, Derek was greeted by his three older sisters: Kathleen, Liz and Nancy. When they finally led him to the room that his mother was in, his heart dropped. He stared into the room from the doorway only to see his beloved mother in bed looking as frail as she had ever looked in her life. His mother was the strongest woman he had ever known, mentally and physically. She raised five children as a single mother after losing her husband in a shooting.

For the entire three months, Derek's mother remained in bed. She had a heart condition known as Coronary Heart Disease. Shortly after Amelia's death, Derek's mother had a heart attack. It was unrelated to Amelia's death, but it only made the grieving process harder for the Shepherd family. All of Derek's sisters tried their best to comfort their brother. They all knew, without admitting it out loud, that Derek and Amelia shared a bond that none of them would ever understand. The two youngest children were together when their father was shot in a convenience store many years ago. Ever since then, Amelia and Derek were two peas in a pod. They were as close as siblings could be. Derek was the sibling who was hit the hardest by her sudden death and was the one most affected by his mother's ill health.

On one of the last nights that Derek was in Washington, after almost three months of being away from Seattle, he sat up on the lounge room couch staring down at his phone. He had Meredith's contact open, with his finger gently hovering over the call button. It had been a long time since he had sat at the bar with Meredith. The night was still a blur and all he remembered was telling Meredith about Addison and Amelia. A part of Derek felt guilty for leaving without saying goodbye. He had wanted to apologise to Meredith for dating Addison and for treating her so badly in class, but he couldn't find the words. Derek also didn't want to burden Meredith with his personal family issues. She was still young and probably had her own issues to deal with. With all of these thoughts in his mind, Derek turned off his phone and threw it onto the couch in frustration. He missed Meredith. He missed her voice and her eyes and the smell of her hair. He missed kissing her. More than anything, Derek wanted to kiss Meredith when they were both sober. Every other time had been after drinking at the bar. One of the times, Meredith hardly even remembered it. Derek longed for a kiss with Meredith that they would both never forget. As he thought about kissing her, Derek's older sister Liz came and sat on the couch next to him.

"Derek…" She whispered, reaching for his hand. Liz was looking over at him with the same look she had on the night of their father's death, after Derek had come home from the store that their father was killed in. "Talk to me about Amelia, _please_. You haven't talked to anyone about it since… she passed. You need to talk about it with your family. With those who knew her and understand your grief."

Derek was snapped back to reality. Almost instantly, Derek put up a wall and his face went blank. Whenever somebody asked him about Amelia, he shut off completely. He didn't want to think about it, let alone talk about it. His younger sister, the one he was supposed to protect, committed suicide. Derek blamed himself for it partially. He had visited her in the hospital not long before it happened. Amelia had been in hospital after having a miscarriage. The baby was her boyfriend's, who had passed not long ago from an overdose. Her baby was the last piece of her boyfriend that Amelia had. When she lost it, the grief was too much for her and Derek could see it but he didn't know what to do. Looking back, he wished he would've stayed by Amelia's side, but she begged him not to put his life on hold for her. Derek wished he stayed anyway because now his little sister is gone forever. Why would Derek want to talk about any of that? The guilt overwhelmed him. It was easier to just shut it all off.

"Okay _fine_ ," Liz puffed up her chest in defeat and then exhaled, "At least talk to me about your love life. What's new?" She had a look in her eye that revealed to Derek that Liz knew more about his love life than he did.

"What's _new_?" Derek responded, sounding bored. "Addison left me for Mark!" He clapped sarcastically. "That's new."

Liz rolled her eyes and groaned audibly. "Come on, Derek. You never loved Addison in the way she deserved to be loved. Stop playing victim." She let out a little laugh to lighten the mood. "Who is Meredith Grey?"

Derek's eyes widened. He stared at his older sister in confusion. She stared back with a slight smirk across her face.

"W-what?" Derek mumbled, dropping his eyes to the floor. His heart was racing. He hadn't heard or said Meredith's name out loud in so long. It felt surprisingly nice to hear someone say it. "She's a girl in one of my anatomy classes..."

Liz laughed. "And?"

Derek's breathing was sharp. "And what?"

"I mean… do you sleep with _all_ of your students?"

If Derek were drinking anything, he would have spat it all out at his sister in disbelief. Instead, his mouth just dropped open. "Addison told you?"

Liz nodded and smiled triumphantly. She looked at her younger brother expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate. After Amelia, Liz was the next sister that Derek was closest with. Kathleen and Nancy were much older than Derek was by a little more than five years. Liz was only two years older, making it easier for them to get along as kids. Although Kathleen and Nancy were there for him for the serious events in his life like graduation and all of his birthdays, Liz was always there for him during heartbreak, bullying and all of the negative milestones in his life. She felt the need to protect him in the way that Derek had wanted to protect Amelia.

"So tell me about her," Liz demanded after a minute of silence, "Do you love her?"

Derek pondered on this for a while. He thought about the first night they shared together, which also happened to be the first night that they had ever met. In retrospect, he wished that their first night hadn't turned out the way it did. He wished they had spent the night talking and getting to know each other. Maybe things would have been a little different then.

"Well?" Liz broke Derek out of his thoughts.

"She's… beautiful," Derek began, shutting his eyes. He pictured Meredith's sharp features that told a thousand stories. Her eyes were an icy blue. They were bright, but somehow they were dull too. Derek loved how her face reflected her unique personality. "She's driven. She works hard for what she wants and doesn't want or accept any help. She's independent, but she loves her friends. She'd do anything for them." Derek let out a small breath and opened his eyes. Liz was looking at him with a small smile. She nodded at him to continue. "I don't know much about her personal life. She's more of a closed book than an open one… All I know is that I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know her."

"You _love_ her." Liz said matter-of-factly, clapping her hands together happily. She nudged her younger brother and winked before getting up to leave, as if her job was complete.

"Wait, that's it?" Derek stood up and looked at his sister with an eyebrow raised.

Liz turned back momentarily, "Go back to Seattle, Derek. Mom will be okay, the doctors say her health is getting better already. She has me, Kathleen and Nancy here. We'll be okay." She smiled sadly. Liz didn't want him to go, but she knew that he had to if he were to be truly happy again. "You need to get the girl… before she's gone forever." Then, Liz left the room, leaving Derek standing alone in silence.

The next morning, after stopping in a jewellery store and making a very special purchase, Derek was on the first flight he could get back to Seattle. He was on his way back to Meredith. _Finally._

* * *

 **AN:** Sooo I know there wasn't MUCH on Amelia's death here - but at least you guys now how she passed now :( Very sad! And you got a little bit more information on Derek's other sisters and his mom. His father's life is the same as in the series - so I didn't feel the need to go into it as much. if you want more insight, just google what happened to his father and the whole story of Derek and Amelia being there:) I think in future chapters there will definitely be more on Amelia. Derek will have to open up about how he feels to someone eventually, so we'll definitely have more information on that. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed today's chapter! Next chapter will be back to normal - not in the past. :) Review please!


	15. Chapter 15: Goodbye California

Meredith spent the rest of the night asleep next to her father's hospital bed. Derek, her new fiancé, slept comfortably in one of the big lounge chairs in the corner of the room. Every so often, Meredith would wake up from a dream of her childhood and would sit up abruptly, only to find Thatcher still dead next to her. Each time her heart would break a little more. At around 6:00AM, Meredith woke up again. She was having a dream where she and Thatcher were out for a walk at one of the parks near the last house they lived in together. It was a peaceful walk. Ellis and Thatcher were on okay terms then, but it was merely the calm before the storm. A couple of weeks later, Thatcher was gone and Ellis was left with a daughter she never wanted.

"Hey, Meredith," Lexie was standing over her, staring directly at Meredith's hand which was linked with Thatcher's. "Sorry to wake you, but I have the paperwork here for Thatcher's organs being donated. Mom wants you to look over it before we give it in."

Meredith nodded slightly, still half asleep. Lexie handed her the clipboard with all of the papers. It took Meredith a little while to read over them all, but not too long later she handed them back to Lexie who was now sitting on the chair next to Derek.

"Here," Meredith said, standing to walk over to Lexie. "It all looks good."

Lexie stood up as soon as Meredith reached her corner of the room. Her eyes flickered over to Thatcher before she looked at Meredith again. Tears were welling up in her eyes. Meredith's glance shifted around the room awkwardly. She didn't know what to do. She had only met Lexie a couple of hours ago. They were sisters, technically, but to Meredith she was still a stranger. As Lexie's tears started to fall, Meredith shifted her weight awkwardly from one foot to the other.

"Um," She breathed, still not facing Lexie directly. "You okay?"

Lexie nodded frantically, wiping her tears at the same time. An awkward laugh escaped her lips and soon she was laughing so hard she had to hold her stomach. Meredith quickly looked to Derek who, a few seconds ago, was still asleep. Lexie's loud laughter must have woken him up. Meredith watched as he sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes, looking around the room with a puzzled expression. After a moment of being confused, a look of realisation flashed across Derek's face as if he had just remembered where he was. Soon, he was looking at Lexie the same way that Meredith was. This girl, that they had both just met a couple of hours ago, was laughing so hard that she was crying. Her dad had just passed away and she was laughing. Without acknowledging that she had woken Derek up with her laughter, Lexie spoke again.

"I'm fine," She said, still laughing slightly. "N-no. I'm fine. It's just…" She took a deep breath. "Dad talked about you. He talked about you a lot, actually. He thought of you so highly, Meredith. He missed you every day." Lexie stopped for a moment and exhaled. The words came out of her mouth so fast that she probably didn't breathe between sentences. Meredith looked at her with a blank expression. She turned momentarily to see Thatcher's body before turning back to Lexie with one eyebrow raised.

"I-I know it's hard for you to hear now, and you probably won't believe me… but he regretted leaving you behind. Every single day." Lexie smiled slightly.

Meredith sighed. Her expression was still blank. She wasn't used to hearing people compliment her. She definitely never expected to hear that her father, the one who was now dead, missed her and regretted leaving her all this time. Especially when she spent the ten years they were apart trying her best to forget he even existed.

"What's your point?" Meredith responded, her voice low. She didn't know what else to say. She didn't owe Lexie a thank you or even a smile .If her dad missed her so much, why didn't he come back for her? Ever? Meredith had a strong feeling it was because he loved Lexie more. He picked Lexie over her.

"M-my… point is," Lexie flinched at Meredith's blunt response. She had to think for a moment before speaking again, "He painted a picture in my head of my older, extraordinary sister. I always wanted to meet you. I dreamt of what it would be like to spend time with you for so many years of my childhood." Lexie's gaze dropped to the floor. Meredith saw Derek smile from the corner of her eye. She knew that she should say something back, but she was speechless. Lexie spoke again. "After this is all over, and you go back to Seattle, I want us to… stay in contact. B-but only if that's okay with you!"

Derek clapped his hands excitedly and looked up at Meredith, waiting for her response. Lexie looked up from the floor and stared at Meredith now too. As the two of them stared, Meredith felt herself building up a wall. The last thing she needed in her life, during such an important and busy time, was a half-sister who would only remind her of what she had lost. Not just physically, but mentally. Meredith lost the father figure that she loved so many years ago. She would never get that back, even if he was still alive, so why would she want to be reminded of it constantly?

"No," Meredith replied bluntly. She saw Derek's mouth drop open. Lexie flinched again and a hurt expression spread across her face. "I don't think that's a good idea," Meredith continued, not looking or feeling sympathetic for rejecting her half-sister. "I will only let you down. I'm not the older sister that you want." With that, Meredith made her way for the door. Without even looking back, she was gone.

* * *

Derek found Meredith in one of the staircases in the hospital a little later on. He had just finished comforting Lexie after Meredith's obvious rejection. It had taken him almost fifteen minutes to get Lexie to stop crying. Derek knew that she wasn't just crying about Meredith, but she was also just overwhelmed with grief about her father. He knew all too well about that grief. When Derek found Meredith sitting on the staircase, she was on the phone talking animatedly to someone. He assumed it was Cristina. Meredith was smiling and laughing, as if she wasn't in a hospital in LA where her father had just died.

"Hey Cristina," Derek gently took the phone from Meredith's ear and placed it against his own, "Meredith's gotta go."

"What the hell, McDreamy?" She responded, obviously surprised at the sudden voice switch.

Meredith stared up at him angrily, but was too shocked to speak. She hadn't expected him to take her phone while she was in mid-conversation. It wasn't something he had ever done before.

"She'll call you back, okay?" Derek said charmingly. He smiled for a split second before he hung up the phone. When the call was over, he placed Meredith's phone in his pocket and looked down at her angrily. He placed his hands on his hips and waited for her to say something. Meredith kept her lips pursed and said nothing. After too long of silence, Derek spoke again. His voice was bitter.

"You shouldn't have shot down Lexie like that," He began, taking a seat next to Meredith on the stairs. "She just lost her dad. She's fragile."

"So I should've lied instead?" Meredith spat back, rolling her eyes. "I should've told her that I would _love_ to play dress up with her and have sisterly tea parties on the weekends?"

Derek was taken aback. He didn't know what he was expecting from Meredith, but it wasn't that.

"She's not my sister," Meredith continued angrily, "Cristina is my sister. Izzie is my sister. Lexie and I just happen to share a father. A father who picked her but abandoned me. Do you see why I might not be excited at the idea of spending more time with her?"

"I just don't understand…" Derek said quietly, turning to face Meredith square on. "When I was proposing, you held your Dad's hand. You slept next to him. You didn't leave his side for hours…"

Meredith sighed and shut her eyes. She didn't want to be having this conversation right now. She played around with the new ring on her finger. It was a little big, but she wasn't one to complain about something so petty. Derek's eyes fell upon her fiddling and he flinched. For a split second, he thought she might be regretting the proposal. When she finally stopped fiddling, he relaxed.

"That's exactly why I can't spend time with Lexie!" Meredith yelled, shrinking down when her voice echoed loudly against the walls. "I don't want to resent my father. I just want to move on from all of this. If I spend any more time with Lexie, all of this anger I have will just explode out of me." Her voice was quiet this time. Derek could hear her sadness. The sadness she tried to conceal. His face finally softened as he reached his arm around her shoulders. Meredith curled up next to him and rested her head against his chest. They lay there like that for a few minutes until Meredith sat up suddenly and looked up at him. He still had his arm around her shoulders.

"I want to go home." She said, staring Derek straight in the eyes. He nodded.

"Okay," He smiled. "Then let's go home." Derek kissed Meredith on the top of her head before standing and helping her up. After saying a quick goodbye to Susan and Lexie, they both left the hospital hand in hand.

"I love you, Meredith." He whispered into her ear as they walked over to their taxi.

"I love you." She whispered back before climbing into her seat.

The taxi ride to the airport was spent in silence. Derek was fidgeting the whole way. Meredith, who spent the whole time staring out of the window longingly, didn't notice. But Derek was fidgeting because he was keeping something from her. Before he found her on the staircase, Derek had promised Lexie that he would somehow convince Meredith to come around to the idea of spending more time with her. They had exchanged numbers and Lexie had looked hopeful. Derek was hopeful in the moment too, but now he wasn't so sure. Would Meredith _ever_ want to see Lexie again?


	16. Chapter 16: McParty

Meredith and Derek arrived home to loud music, the smell of alcohol and lots and lots of laugher. As soon as the taxi from Seattle airport dropped them home and the two of them stepped out into the fresh air, they could hear the music blasting through the open windows. Meredith and Derek exchanged confused glances before running through the front door. They were welcomed by the excited screams of a room of mostly strangers. There were some people from Meredith's Anatomy course and some older people that Derek recognised.

"Mr. Shepherd!" A short, brunette girl approached him with a red cup in her hands. She flashed him a smile, completely ignoring Meredith's existence. "What are you doing here? I didn't know you liked to par-tay!"

Meredith cringed. The girl sounded like a stereotypical valley girl. A part of her wanted to be jealous that she had approached Derek, but Meredith knew that this girl wasn't his type. She was most likely just a student… and an admirer.

"I live here!" Derek responded, mimicking the brunette's overly-excited tone. "What are YOU doing here, Lacey?"

Lacey's eyes widened, causing Meredith to laugh. Lacey shot her an annoyed glance before turning back to face Derek. "Izzie invited me… Wait, so you and Izzie live together or something? She said this was her house!" She swallowed, hard. It was obvious that she was jealous. Meredith laughed again.

"Yes," Derek laughed, exchanging an uncomfortable look with Meredith. When he agreed to move in, he hadn't expected to be living with Izzie, Cristina and George too. "I guess I do."

Getting bored of the heart eyes that Lacey was giving her fiancé, Meredith slipped away into the crowd to find Cristina. It took her a little while to crawl through the crowded house. Around every corner was someone who recognised Meredith and tried to strike up a conversation. Not being one for small talk, Meredith easily shook them off before continuing to look for her best friend. When she finally reached the kitchen, her mouth dropped open. Cristina was in there, but she wasn't alone. Before Meredith could say anything, someone came up behind her.

"It's a little messed up, right?" It was Izzie. She pulled Meredith into a tight hug before speaking again. "His divorce was only _just_ finalised and they're already… well, you can see what they're up to… on our kitchen counter… where we prepare our food…" Izzie shuddered.

Meredith finally turned her back on Cristina and walked away from the room. She wasn't one to judge, so she said nothing in response to Izzie. The only issue Meredith had with it all was a fear that Cristina might get her heartbroken again by Owen. That was the last thing she wanted. But who was she to judge, or give advice? Her situation with Derek wasn't exactly smooth sailing either.

"So how was California?" Izzie had followed Meredith to their couch in the lounge room. Everything was the same, except now the room was full of people laughing, drinking and dancing. Meredith spotted Derek in the same spot where she had left him, but now he was speaking to Mark. It made her feel a little uneasy seeing Mark after all that had happened, but she was also happy that Derek still had his best friend.

"Meredith?" Izzie raised an eyebrow, "How was it?"

"Oh, you know," Meredith said sarcastically, turning away from Derek to face her friend on the couch. "Peachy. I saw my dad for the first time in years, but he was dead. I also met his new wife and to make it even better, I met a half-sister I never even knew existed."

"You sound like you need a drink, Mer," Alex sunk down on the couch next to Izzie and handed Meredith a beer. She wasn't a fan of beer, but Alex was right, she did need a drink. The room was so busy and loud she hadn't even heard Alex walk over to the couch.

"I'm so sorry, Meredith." Izzie said sincerely, grabbing Meredith's hand to comfort her. When she felt something rough in her hand, she looked down. Letting out a loud gasp, Izzie jumped up. Alex flinched before shooting Meredith a confused look. He looked more angry than confused, but Meredith had learned that he was just a naturally pissed off person. It wasn't necessarily personal.

The whole room was staring at Meredith now, including Derek and Mark. The two of them walked over towards the room and watched on as Izzie jumped up and down happily.

"Izzie!" Meredith hissed, grabbing her arm and pulling her back down to the couch, "I haven't told _anyone_ yet."

Suddenly, Izzie realised that all eyes were on her and Meredith. She blushed for a moment before looking serious.

"Nothing to see here guys!" Izzie exclaimed, "Get back to partying! Yay alcohol!"

The whole room stood silent for a moment before someone else yelled out, "Yay alcohol!" Then the whole room was back to laughing, drinking and minding their own business. Meredith noticed that George was in the crowd too, dancing up awkwardly against a beautiful, red-headed girl. Meredith smiled to herself. _Good for George_ , she thought.

"You're… e _ngaged_?" Izzie whispered excitedly, admiring Meredith's ring. Alex finally picked up on what was going on and rolled his eyes. He clearly wasn't too interested in it all, but Meredith didn't care. She wasn't one to boast about these things, let alone want any attention from it.

"Yes." Meredith responded, looking directly at her fiancé. He had turned back to Mark now, but Addison was there too. Mark had his arm around her shoulders. She looked somewhat uncomfortable, but Meredith couldn't be sure.

"So?" Izzie said, her voice still sounding too excited for Meredith's liking, "How did it happen? I want to know ALL the details!"

Alex rolled his eyes before tapping his beer bottle against Meredith's, "Congratulations, Mer." He said, not sounding particularly excited. He gave Izzie a small kiss on the cheek before getting up and from the couch and finding some other people to talk to. This wasn't his kind of conversation.

"He proposed, I said yes, now we're engaged!" Meredith responded, pretending to sound excited. It wasn't that Meredith wasn't excited about her engagement. She _was_ excited. She just wasn't excited to be talking about it. "Those are ALL the details."

Before Izzie could ask any more questions, Cristina appeared out of nowhere. She took Alex's seat on the couch. One of her shirt buttons was still open and her hair was all over the place. Izzie looked appalled, but Meredith just laughed.

"Um, Cristina," Meredith was still laughing. "Is this new post-sex look of yours fashionable now or something?"

Cristina blushed. She looked down at her shirt and quickly fixed the top button before placing the loose strands of her hair behind her ears. Once she had composed herself, she pulled Meredith in for a hug. It was short lived, as neither of them were big huggers, but Meredith was happy. She had truly missed her best friend even though they hadn't been apart for too long.

"I missed you, Meredith Grey." Cristina said silently. Meredith almost didn't even hear it.

"I missed you too, Cristina Yang." Meredith responded, smiling.

Izzie rolled her eyes and shifted her bottom around in the seat uncomfortably. Whenever Cristina and Meredith had a moment, she always felt left out and never tried to hide it. Cristina and Meredith exchanged glances before they both placed an arm around Izzie's shoulders.

"I missed you too, Isobel Stevens." Meredith laughed, leaning her head against Izzie's shoulder.

"You big baby, Stevens!" Cristina teased.

"Whatever," Izzie tried to fight against her smile, but she failed. "Tell Cristina the big news, Mer!" She exclaimed, trying to take the attention off of her jealously.

Cristina turned to face Meredith. Both her eyebrows were raised expectantly, waiting for Meredith to speak.

"Derek proposed," Meredith whispered, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Her cheeks were red and warm as she blushed like a shy school girl. Meredith didn't know why, but she felt uncomfortable telling Cristina about this. Cristina was the one who knew Meredith the most. She would let Meredith know how she really felt about the sudden engagement.

"And?" Cristina asked, her face blank. Meredith couldn't tell what she was thinking. "Did you say yes?"

"I did…" Meredith responded, looking up at Cristina. She watched as Cristina's blank expression was replaced with a face of disappointment. This moment reminded Meredith of when she told her mother that she wanted to see her father, a year after Thatcher had left them. Ellis was eating her breakfast with a blank expression spread across her face. As soon as Meredith opened her mouth and mentioned the idea of visiting her father, Ellis looked down at her with a disappointed expression.

"You miss him?" Ellis looked serious. There was still a hint of disappointment in her eyes.

"Yes." Meredith responded honestly, staring at the ground.

"Well, don't." Ellis breathed, "He left you, Meredith. You don't miss someone who leaves you behind. That shows weakness and I refuse to let my only daughter be weak."

Meredith felt tears welling up in her eyes just as they had the morning Ellis didn't even consider the idea of her going to visit Thatcher. Izzie watched on, looking from Cristina and then to Meredith. Even Izzie, the eternally happy roommate, looked worried.

"What were you thinking, Mer?" Cristina hissed. Her lips were pursed. "You and Derek haven't even been together a year yet! And do I need to remind you that as soon as you rejected him, not even that long ago now, he didn't wait long to go and lock lips with McHottie? What happens if you guys fight? Or don't talk for weeks, for whatever reason? How can you trust that he won't go and lock lips with someone else?"

Izzie gasped and quickly stood up, shooting Meredith an apologetic glance before leaving the room. She knew that this was an argument between Meredith and Cristina. But Meredith couldn't speak. She was speechless. She knew that Cristina would give her an honest opinion about the situation, but she didn't think it would be _this_ bad.

"He won't!" Meredith said finally, her glance on Derek. He was still talking with Mark and Addison. The three of them were all standing close. Derek even had his hand on Addison's shoulder. It made her flinch. Even though she knew they were friends, and it was harmless, she suddenly felt self-conscious. Cristina's words were already getting to her.

"Whatever," Cristina breathed, standing up to leave. Meredith stood up too, anger building up inside of her.

"What about you, huh?" She said, her teeth clenched. "Sleeping with a recently divorced man. How do you know he won't cheat on you? He cheated on his wife, after all, didn't he? At least Derek never cheated on me. WE WEREN'T TOGETHER WHEN HE KISSED ADDISON!"

Cristina's mouth dropped open. Most of the room continued to speak loudly. The music was loud. But Meredith felt multiple eyes on her and Cristina. At the door between the kitchen and the lounge room, Owen was standing with his mouth open. He shifted his weight awkwardly from one foot to the other. Cristina looked at him apologetically. Not too far away, Meredith felt Derek's, Mark's and Addison's eyes on her. Suddenly, there were too many people around her. The room was too crowded. The music was too loud. It took all of her willpower not to cry. Without giving Cristina another look, Meredith made her way through the crowd and ran to her room, slamming the door. The music still sounded loud with the door shut, but at least it wasn't crowded in her room. Meredith walked over to her bed and let her body fall. She hadn't realised how tired she was until now. Just as she was fading into sleep, there was light knock on her door, followed by Derek walking in looking worried. He walked over to the bed and climbed in, wrapping Meredith in his arms. He pulled her into his body and stroked her hair lovingly.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked, kissing her ear gently. It sent a shiver through Meredith's spine.

"Not really." She responded honestly, shutting her eyes. Cristina's words had caused Meredith to second guess the engagement for a split second, but being in bed with Derek reminded her of all the reasons why she said yes. He made her feel safe. He looked after her. He cared about her, even after she made a fool out of herself in a room full of people.

"Okay then." Derek whispered into her hair, beginning to plant kisses all over her face. "We can do something else instead then. Something more fun." His voice was seductive.

Meredith laughed before kissing him back. Suddenly, the night didn't seem so bad.


	17. Chapter 17: McSisters

The next few weeks went by slowly for Meredith. Her work at University was piling up by the day. She had three assignments, readings for every class and mid-semester exams to study for. It didn't help that her best friend, roommate and study buddy, Cristina, still wasn't talking to her. After their argument at the party, Cristina had been spending more nights at Owen's house than at home. Sometimes she would come home at three in the morning and sometimes she wouldn't even be home for days at a time. A part of Meredith was worried that they would never be friends again and wanted to fix it, but another part of her was too stubborn and didn't want to be the first one to apologise.

Meredith turned her head and looked at the clock beside her bed. It was Saturday morning and the time was 8:00AM. Derek was asleep next to her, snoring quietly. The two of them had gotten home late last night after going to the bar on campus. Addison and Mark had been there too. The four of them spent the night drinking and talking. Meredith still felt uncomfortable around them, but she was starting to come around to the idea of them all being friends. She didn't necessarily like it, but she wanted to make Derek happy.

As she lay there, staring at the ceiling with her thoughts running wild, there was a knock at the door. The whole house was silent except from the occasional creak from the floors. Meredith waited for someone's door to open, but it didn't happen. She must be the only one awake.

"Ugh," Meredith groaned quietly, pushing the blankets off of her body. She climbed out of bed trying her best not to make too much noise. Derek lay still in bed, his snoring getting a little louder. Meredith smiled at him before tiptoeing out of her bedroom to the front door.

"I'm coming!" She announced loudly, when there was a second knock at the door. Meredith was still wearing her pyjamas, which were just a bra and her favourite Wonder Woman booty shorts. She figured anyone coming over this early had to be someone that they knew. No stranger would intrude at this time in the morning, would they? Sighing loudly, Meredith wrapped her hand around the door knob and opened it.

"Oh my," An unfamiliar woman stood on the doorstep, smirking to herself. She had beautiful chocolate brown hair that fell just below her shoulders. She wore a neat, red blouse over a pair of denim jeans. Her eyes were a mesmerizing shade of blue that Meredith recognised all too well. Behind this woman was another one, which much shorter hair with a slight red tint. Her hair fell only slightly below her ears and Meredith noticed she wasn't smirking like the other woman was. She looked serious, exhausted and… disappointed?

"Nice booty shorts!" The first woman exclaimed happily, sticking her hand out. "I'm Liz."

Meredith stared at the hand in confusion. When she didn't take it, Liz quickly retraced her hand and placed it back by her side. She didn't look phased at all. Without missing a beat, she turned to the lady behind her and smiled encouragingly. When she too did nothing, Liz spoke again.

"And this is my sister Nancy," Liz said, turning to face Meredith. "She's a bit… shy."

Nancy scoffed and took an intimidating step towards Meredith. "I'm not _shy_ , Liz." She said. Her voice was hard. "I'm just confused as to why this grown woman is opening her door in a bra and… Wonder Woman booty shorts."

Meredith awkwardly shifted her weight between her two legs. She still had no idea who these two girls were, let alone what they were doing at her house. And why was one of them criticising her favourite booty shorts? Before Meredith had the chance to stand up for herself, she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. The footsteps were followed closely by someone cursing loudly. When she turned around, she was faced with her lovely boyfriend Derek… wearing only his tight, black underwear.

"For God's sake!" Nancy sighed loudly and crossed her arms against her chest, "Does anyone wear clothes in this house?"

Liz let out a loud laugh before covering her eyes, feeling second-hand embarrassment for her brother. She continued laughing for a good five minutes while Nancy stomped around outside continuing to sigh angrily.

"Can someone please tell me what is going on here?" Meredith asked, turning to face Derek expectantly. He was standing behind her, but now he had a pillow covering his underwear. If Meredith weren't feeling so confused and frustrated, she would've been laughing along with Liz.

"Oh!" Liz wiped a laughing tear from the corner of her eye, and smiled warmly at Meredith. "I am so sorry. We're Derek's older sisters." She gestured towards Nancy who rolled her eyes and gave Meredith a sarcastic wave.

Meredith raised an eyebrow at Derek, who nodded slowly to confirm what Liz had just said was true. Feeling more embarrassed than ever, Meredith quickly excused herself and ran straight up the stairs to Izzie's room. If she weren't already feeling embarrassed, Meredith had just walked in on Izzie and Alex having sex.

"Meredith!" Izzie screamed, quickly pushing Alex off of her and covering her naked body with the blanket.

"No… I'm Alex." Alex said sarcastically, jumping out of bed and putting his pants on. "Thanks for ruining the moment, Mer." He shot her an annoyed look as he searched the room for his shirt. As he continued his search, Izzie quickly got dressed under the blanket before looking up at Meredith with a raised eyebrow. During the time that Izzie had been living here, Meredith had discovered that she was good at reading people. Even people like Meredith and Cristina, who never really broadcast their emotions in their facial expressions.

"What's wrong, Mer?" Izzie asked, her voice soft. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"

Alex finally found his shirt and put it on before turning to face Meredith. His eyebrow was raised now too. Meredith must've been looking much paler than usual.

"Even worse," Meredith responded, falling onto Izzie's bed. She didn't even care that Izzie and Alex had just been having sex in it, "I just met Derek's older sisters… and I was practically half naked."

Alex and Izzie exchanged amused glances before breaking out into laughter. Meredith groaned and crawled under Izzie's blanket to hide. She had hoped her friends would make her feel better, but they just made her feel more embarrassed. After a few minutes of laughing at Meredith, Alex and Izzie joined her under the covers.

"So where are his McSisters now?" Izzie asked, propping her elbow up underneath her head.

Meredith sighed. "Downstairs…" She covered her ears with her hands and shut her eyes. She wanted today to be over already and it wasn't even nine o'clock yet.

Izzie gently removed Meredith's hands and pushed the blanket off the bed. "Then we've got to get you dressed and ready to make a good impression!"

"But one of them is called… _Nancy_ ," Meredith pouted, which only made Alex laugh. Izzie rolled her eyes. "And she's a McBitch."

Ignoring all of Meredith's protests, Izzie somehow managed to get her dressed in less than ten minutes. With Alex curled up in bed, being of no help at all, Izzie braided Meredith's hair and applied some subtle make up on her eyes and lips. She dabbed some concealer under her eyes to make her look more awake and alert. Feeling quite proud of herself, Izzie pushed Meredith towards the door.

"Go and show that McBitch what a McAwesome girlfriend you are!"

Meredith groaned slightly before turning the doorknob slightly and creeping out of the room. She heard Izzie and Alex giggling as they continued where they left off before Meredith had interrupted them. The two of them were no more help to her now. George was asleep. Cristina was at Owen's and Derek was already downstairs, making his sister's coffee. There was nowhere for Meredith to go now except downstairs, where she would have to socialise with Liz and Nancy. She didn't even know how or want to socialise with Lexie, her own sister, let alone Derek's. Meredith let out a small breath as she made her way down the stairs, as slowly as possible. When she reached the bottom, she was greeted by Nancy, who had a scowl on her face. Liz and Derek were talking loudly in the kitchen. It was just Nancy and Meredith in the lounge room.

"I'm McAwesome…" Meredith said under her breath. She didn't sound particularly convinced.


End file.
